BREAKING: I Have Found The Greatest Athlete Of Our Generation

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My mind isn’t letting me comprehend what’s happening in that video, so I’m going to assume he’s using some sort of black magic. There’s no way anyone can skip a rock that far, that fast, for that long without being a witch. If this was 1800’s Salem he’d be burned at the stake already. That or he’s simply the greatest athlete of all time, which is most likely the case. It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s been  practicing his form on the same pond for the past fifty years and everything to do with the fact that he’s an incredible athlete. Look at this form:

He’s a regular Kazuhisa Makita. I’d love to take a look at the “rock” but still. What an incredible display of athletic ability. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got some airtime on ESPN 2. Cornhole seems to be running its course.