Watch Me Beat The Shit Out Of This Kid In A Bathroom

Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh, that’s right. That’s fuckin right. For all of you trolls, haters, and losers (of which there are many) who like to chirp chirp chirp at me, and say “You’ve never been in a fight in your life!” and doubt my ability in the world of combat sports…suck my whole ass dick. My cock and balls – in your mouth.

Do you see these body shots??? I ate that motherfucker’s gas tank up and broke a couple of his ribs all at once. Punches in bunches. If he hadn’t cheapshotted me in the face, I woulda put him down with the next one I was gonna throw, aimed right for the liver.

Real talk: After-school bathroom fights seemed particularly prevalent in my middle school. Like…nobody ever fought anywhere but the boy’s bathroom. It was kinda weird, to be honest with you, and EXTREMELY dangerous, in hindsight, but we’d all just pack into the stalls, stand on the toilets, and hang over the door to watch. You can sorta say we had a promotion going on. Worst one I ever saw was my buddy who we’ll call Kevin, who tried to start one of these with a Jorge Masvidal-esque surprise kick, but it was thrown at a snail’s pace, caught, and got him flipped onto his head. He let out the saddest cry I’ve ever heard in my life and we all just filed out and left him there in a puddle of piss for his shameful performance. Oh well.