California DMV Offices Are Closing For A Half-Day So They Can Learn Customer Service Skills

ABC 7 - The Department of Motor Vehicles has announced on July 24, 2019, it will close offices statewide for half a day to re-train employees on customer service skills.

It says it’s doing this to better prepare employees to process REAL ID transactions and reinforce training on providing “excellent” customer service.

The training will take place at 183 DMV field offices and more than 5,000 employees will receive the training at their home offices, which will open for business at 1 p.m.

I constantly see all these Mets fans in my Twitter timeline complaining about how it’s been time for MLB to take the team away from the Wilpons. They’re unfit for ownership not only because they’re cheap, but because they’re incompetent, yada, yada. Sure, maybe it is long overdue…

BUT, you want to talk about a move that’s LONG LONG overdue? Look no further than the DMV closing up shop for a half day to teach some of these people how to not be a complete asshole. I mean it’s like hitting the lottery when you walk in and someone doesn’t completely slice your head off and asks you how your day is going.

Now, I get that they’re not dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed either. Half the people there are 16 and don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground and the other half can’t comprehend that they needed to get their license renewed by the date that it specifically says to do so in ink on the damn license.

But, there is a pecking order of dickheaded-ness and I think this is how it goes:

This might surprise you, but I really think that the official teller is probably the nicest person in the DMV. Maybe it’s because you’re just happy that you’re not sitting in those shitty seats anymore? Or maybe it’s because you know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel? All I know is that they at least seem to be knowledgable and actually have interest in moving you along as fast as they can.

This is where things start to really go south. These motherfuckers snap these pictures as soon as you hop in front of that green screen. Not even a courtesy cheese or anything. They just simply don’t give a shit about you having to hold your thumb over your picture for eternity when you’re handing your ID over to a bouncer so none of your friends see it and clown on you about it.

The only thing I’ll give them is that they probably deal with some straight nonsense. Like the girl who always thinks she looks terrible in a pic even though she looks just fine. I couldn’t imagine having to do that like clockwork every single day. But, still…random strangers are nicer than these people when you ask them to snap a pic at a Cubs game. These people can definitely use this half day to brush up on their people skills a little bit.

This is it. This is him. I couldn’t find an accurate picture of what this position looks like, but you know exactly who they are and they’re the most miserable motherfuckers in the joint.

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT ASKING THIS GUY A QUESTION. He’ll tell you to grab a number and hop in line faster than your head will spin. Even worse than that never ask him how long the line is going to take as it’s a sure bet he’s going to give you a wait time longer than it is because he simply just does not give a shit. He’s solely there to tell you to rip a piece of paper off/to watch the damn numbers on the kiosk above.

So, yeah…there’s my pecking order of assholes at the DMV. Enjoy the training.