John Cusack Is Filming Some TV Show On My Street And About To Fuck Up My Life
I hold a few irrational levels of hatred for somethings. I hate them in spite of their harmlessness, their popularity, or their looks. My best example of irrationally hating something is my utter disdain for John Cusack. I fucking HATE this guy. I mean sure he’s pretty popular I guess. But he’s also a pink hat, as referenced by this picture taken at a 2005 World Series game:
and these pictures subsequently taken at 2016 World Series games:
He’s on my #banned list for a reason:
If you’re one of those people that “roots for Chicago” you’re either an Uber driver, an asshole, or both. You ever get into a convo about baseball with an Uber driver? Those fuckwads are the biggest pink hats on earth. It’s bad that they try to start convo with you in general but then when they’re dropping you off at Turtles to get shitfaced before a Sox game and they’re all like “oh I root for both teams to do well” it’s an automatic 1 star rating. I’ll still tip though because I take pride in my tipping abilities, but I’ll always let them know that rooting for both Chicago teams does NOT fly in my book. Fuck. You.
Anyways… back to Cusack. This guy can suck my balls. He absolutely sucks at acting. Actually Hot Tub Time Machine should have won every Oscar there is in spite of his shitty performance. Ever seen that movie? They get drunk and go in a hot tub and go back in time. Hilarious in every sense of the word.
But now he’s fucking up the parking situation on my street filming some TV show that I’m sure will be canceled in due time:
A quick look at this show’s IMDB page shows Cusack is cast as a doctor in the show:
There’s not a person on earth who I’d trust with my life in their hands less than John Cusack. I get that it’s acting but it’s still not plausible. That’d be like asking me to play Shaq in a biopic and I’m a short, fat, balding white dude.
So fuck this. I’m gonna have to park my car at the office the next 3 days and walk the 3 blocks instead of drive. You know how awful walking is? It’s the worst. I’d rather get waterboarded than walk anywhere. Fuck you John Cusack! I’m gonna hang out my window and heckle him when they’re filming. And I’m not joking when I say this, they’re filming IMMEDIATELY outside of my apartment.
Oh and PS – apparently he is in some hot water on the world wide web for tweeting out some anti-semetic image recently, to which he obviously blamed it on a bot hacking his account:
