Here Were All Of The Potential Names For The Toronto Raptors And It's A Crime Against Humanity That They're Not The "Toronto Saurus Rex"
“Raptors” is a pretty strong name for a professional sports franchise. I don’t necessarily know what “Raptors” have to do with the city of Toronto. I can’t imagine there were many dinosaurs just roaming around in Canada millions of years ago. I mean maybe if Canada was in a different geographic location than it is right now due to Pangea and all that jazz. But still. I don’t know if dinosaurs were necessarily pumped to live in the snow for 10 months out of the year. But still. “Raptors” is a pretty strong name nevertheless.
With that being said, there was a time before the Toronto Raptors existed. And as they were getting ready to play in their inaugural season in the NBA, there were plenty of different name options for the team to go with before they landed on Raptors.
Holy shit. Are you kidding me? I know I just spent a few sentences up there talking about how strong of a name “Raptors” is. But how in the actual fricking heck did this team land on Raptors when they had ALL OF THESE INCREDIBLE OPTIONS? Just doing a quick once over here, I can count at least 10 options that are better than “Raptors”. And that’s not a knock on Raptors, that’s just praise for this truly elite list of mascot options. Here are my top 5.
5. Whiskeyjacks
I’m sure that a Whiskeyjack is an actual thing. But in my head, I’m just picturing a bunch of lumberjacks guzzling down a ton of whiskey. Which is usually my generic go-to for when I picture the majority of Canadians.
4. Blue Basketballs
I drew the basketball blue because I’ve never seen a blue basketball before, and to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue basketball.
3. John Candy
Quite possibly the most influential man to ever come out of Canada, and yet this organization refused to name their team after him. Kind of fucked up if you think about it. I mean again, do we even know if Toronto has any sort of historical connection to raptors? Probably not. But John Candy was born in Toronto. John Candy was Toronto. I understand that maybe the team thought that it was a little too soon to name the team after him since he had just passed away. But it’s been 25 years at this point. I think it only makes sense for the Raptors to change their name after this season if they fail to win the Finals.
2. Canada Eh’s
You’re the only Canadian franchise in the NBA. Have a little bit of pride, why don’t ya? You guys represent an entire country. The least you could do is pay homage to all the fans back home. But maybe this could be one of those little gimmick jerseys that the NBA does, like the times when they have the team names in Spanish i.e. Los Lakers. We could have the Toronto Canada Eh’s. We could have the Philadelphia Yooooooo’s. We could have the LA Suh Dude’s. Just something to keep in the back pocket for later.
1. Saurus Rex
This is the one right here that really just pains me the most to see. Because they had the perfect option staring them dead in the face. It should have been such an easy decision to make. You have to remember that Jurassic Park had just recently came out so dinosaurs were reallllll hot in the streets. Which explains why the team went with the Raptors. But to have the perfect pun right there waiting for you to pick? The Toronto Saurus Rex? The biggest and baddest mother fucker to ever roam the planet? I will never be able to hear the name “Toronto Raptors” ever again without being gravely disappointed at the fact that they’re not the Saurus Rex. That decision alone explains why they’ve never advanced to the NBA Finals until this year.