Live EventBarstool College Football Bracket Show with Brandon Walker, Big Cat, & Big T Presented By DraftKingsWatch Now
Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Halsey Performing At A Strip Club Is Arguably The Sexiest Thing I've Ever Seen

It can’t be stated enough: Halsey is currently the #1 hottest woman on the planet. I’m obsessed with her. She’s like Christy Mack with the voice of an angel. I’ve forever been obsessed with girls like her, every since I was in college and people thought I was crazy for saying P!nk was my #1 girl to spend the night with on the planet, well who’s laughing now? I love chicks like this, kinda punky an covered in tattoos with wild hair, because they would absolutely hate me almost as much as I hate myself. It would be true love, laying around the fire and talking about what a pussy piece of shit I am.

I’m only gonna make this offer once, but I would kill myself to spend a night with Halsey. We don’t even have to do anything. Just say hi, maybe have a beer, then I’ll drown myself in the sink.