Ohio Middle School Students Put Urine And Semen Into Crepes Served To Their Teachers

POWELL, Ohio — Several middle school students are under investigation for allegedly putting bodily fluids into food that was then served to teachers.

The disturbing incident allegedly happened Thursday at Hyatts Middle School in Powell.

Throw the flag, ref. This is unsportsmanlike conduct. No other way to put it. There is no room for this in the game. Especially seeing as I am an Ohio middle school teacher myself, this one hits way too close to home. This could’ve been me out there eating a combination of urine and semen. Kids are always bringing things by my classroom. Cookies. Brownies. Cupcakes. And I’m eating it every single time. I know some teachers that decline all food made by students, like food grows on trees or something? Must be nice to not be so poor that you have to take all the free food you can get. Regardless, let’s see what foods these Olentangy middle school kids were whipping up, with a little extra love….

The allegation is that students put either urine or semen onto crepes that were served to teachers.

Aw hell no. This is the worst possible situation. Crepes, for those of you that have not seen Talladega Nights, are just really really thin pancakes. The best part about crepes are that they are usually jammed with a variety of fillings, from the simplest being topped with powdered sugar to the most elegant being stuffed with multiple savory sauces. Unfortunately, this makes the crepe prime real estate for these students to use their own unsavory……sauces.

Some might mistake the crepe pictured above as one having an orange butter sauce. However, one with a trained eye, and a knowledge of how middle school students think, could tell you that the yellowish colored gooey topping might actually be a combination of two other liquids. These kids are disgusting. I’m scared for life. And these punks (aged 10-12….sheesh, early bloomers), are going to get away with it, too. Sure, they’ll get like detention or whatever. But if they were 18 their faces would be all over the news. Embarrassment for life. These kids get to hide under the blanket of their age, and in just a few years, this will be something that everyone (except the teachers) look back and laugh at. Maybe the parents names should be released. That’d probably be the worst punishment you could give these kids. The parents would never forget. And hopefully it would deter any more of these copycat maniacs from trying this with their own personal “chocolate” sauce.