I Hope This Tweet To Chrissy Teigen Is True Otherwise I'll Be Crushed

Look at that beauty of a life. This all started with Chrissy flexing on Steve Harvey. Harvey was saying that rich people dont sleep 8 hours. Chrissy dunked on his mustachioed ass by saying that she sleeps for 12 hours a day.

Next thing you know, there tweets our hero. Watch em as he/she goes (woke).

I sleep a good 12 as well.: Absolutely incredible. As someone who has difficulty sleeping, this was an unbelievable flex from a normal. A celeb? Sure. But from a geoduck farmer? My god. Have mercy, dear lord.

We do not owe anybody anything either.: debt free? In this economy? The average person has mountains of student loan debts and cant even afford cable so they cut the cord. Meanwhile, our hero is living debt-free in what is probably just a modest 2 bedroom home.

We own acres and live in a rain forest in wa state: ok what the fuck. A rainforest? That sounds amazing. I didnt even know Washington had rainforests. I’m so jealous. At least it’s landlocked tho. So they dont have everything.

it’s also on the water: mother fucker

so we crab and fish and clams and geo duck: this has always been a dream of mine so when I say that I’m jealous, it means that I’m fuming. I cant even catch my breath. I need an inhaler and I’m not even having sex. (puff puff fucc. Remember that?)

We do not own a credit card so no debit. Lol what an idiot. They mean debt and they arent taking advantage of frequent flier miles. Dont wanna travel to some sunshine after a long winter in the northwest rainforest? This is their first mistake.

My hub now works half time he is almost retired Doesnt say how old he is but I retired from my first job at 31. But I’ve never even touched a geoduck let alone farmed some.

Anyway, I thought it was a decent tweet and I might quote it to every telemarketer who calls me from this point forward.