Aussie Judge Rules That Cops Having Oral Sex in a Cruiser is Not 'Official Misconduct'

Australia - Officers engaging in oral sex in a police car is not “official misconduct”, a judge has ruled.

The decision comes as a major blow to Queensland police whistleblower Rick Flori’s bullying case against his former employer, with his complaint about sexual conduct between two officers not affording him public interest disclosure protection.

The former Gold Coast sergeant claimed he suffered reprisal after sending a letter to the then-Crime and Misconduct Commission alleging in late 2009, a female police officer performed a sex act on a male colleague in a police car at a Red Rooster car park.

In the letter, Mr Flori expresses concern about “special attention” given to the female officer.

“It was obvious that (the female officer) had her head in (the male officer’s) lap giving him a head job,” he wrote in February 2010.

“I can see the headline. Senior police officer receives fellatio in police car.”

Mr Flori has argued he should have been protected under the Whistleblowers Protection Act. …

But Justice Helen Bowskill said he was not afforded whistleblower protection so his case regarding the letter cannot proceed. …

“The fact they are sitting in a police car, and using the car for a reason unrelated to their professional duties at the time of the sexual act, is not sufficient, in my view, to raise ‘misconduct’ to the level of ‘official misconduct’.

It’s at moments like this that I realize if Australia didn’t exist, we’d have to invent it. What an advanced and noble society they must be to have judges upholding the rights of law enforcement officers to give and receive squad car head, while punishing the snitches who ratted them out.

To be clear, I’m all about protecting whistleblowers who are blowing said whistles on something important. Dirty cops. Cops taking bribes. Cops planting evidence or shaking people down or stealing drugs out of the evidence locker. Think basically anything that Vic Mackey or Alonzo Harris was doing. That’s fine for a TV/movie anti-hero, but not for real people with badges and guns. But when the whistleblower is blowing the whistle on … well, on a fellow cop getting his whistle blown, that’s where we have to draw the line.

That’s a tough and dangerous job. On any given shift, a police officer doesn’t know if he or she is going to make it home alive. And since any given day could bring their end of watch, if she wants to go out leaving no D un-S’d and he wants to go out with no regrets, let’s consider it a fringe benefit. A job perk, like paid road details, free coffee at Dunkin’s or the legal right to shoot perps. Instead of dropping dimes on them, we ought allow them all the oral they want to give each other, so long as they’re off the clock and the job is done.

So kudos to Judge Helen Bowskill. Your kickass, “Hunger Games”-like name is exceeded only by your judicial wisdom. It’s good to know your country is more than just bizarre animals, giant beer cans and desert hellscapes run by costumed warlords who control all the water and petroleum. Our country needs to be more like Australia.

P.S. I really intended not to do this, but what the hell: Talk about going Down Under! *rimshot*