Dating App Bumble Is Using Artificial Intelligence To Find Dick Pics

(Daily Mail)–Bumble is using AI technology to rid the female-friendly dating app of unsolicited nude images.

Its Private Detector feature will launch in June and uses machine learning to scan images in real time before blurring them and alerting the receiver of the image.

An option will then be presented which will allow them to either view it or block it.

It will be capable of detecting images with 98 per cent accuracy, the company said.

Fellas, I get it. You ended cuffing season, but it was too early because even though it’s almost fucking May it’s still 40 degrees and raining. You’re young, you’re single, you’re lonely, and you’re horny. How horny? This is you on a Thursday

And hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve all been horny. We’ve all been there. Swipe until your battery dies. Where things get dicey is when you’re so horny that you think “hey, this girl I’ve never met before…she definitely wants to see my dick. Yep, I am going to send it”. Now, you’d think that would pretty rare. But I guess you’d think wrong. I guess guys are filling up bandwidth with a girthy amount of dick pics sent to total strangers. So common that Bumble has invested in an A.I. technology to find unsolicited dicks with 98% accuracy and remove them before someone gets offended by your gross horny dick. Bumble should just asked people to use regular old intelligence though.

Make it a two step process. Just ask the dude sending the pic to pause and use his brain.

Very simple. Give their horny brains one last chance to confirm they want to send it. Like one of those things online that asks you to answer a question to make sure you’re not a robot. The question is “bro, you sure you want to do that?”

And then if they go through with it still then yeah, go ahead and ban them. Give them a chance to use the Dwight Schrute method

Can’t have guys who too stupid and horny on an app designed for women. It’s a fair punishment for bumble. These guys are probably also 5’11 and too stupid just to round their height up to 6ft so girls will actually swipe right to begin with. Can’t have an app with short, horny, morons. Don’t think you need AI to weed them out though.