Apparently There Was A Massive Herpes Outbreak At Coachella This Year, Over 1100 People Reported Being Infected So Far

Source - There was an unwanted guest running amok at Coachella this year … herpes. According to honchos at HerpAlert — an online diagnosis and treatment website for the STD — there’s been a huge spike in folks looking to get treated for herpes in the communities surrounding the famous music festival.

We’re told the site has seen a massive surge in folks seeking prescriptions for herpes since Day 1 at Coachella. A whopping 1,105 cases have been reported in Indio, Palm Desert and Coachella Valley — and also L.A., Orange and San Diego counties where most of the concertgoers live.  HerpAlert tells us they typically handle 12 cases a day … but during the first 2 days of Coachella, the site serviced almost 250 patients.

Damn. Why do bad things happen to good influencers? Thank God for HerpAlert otherwise we’d lose them all. It’s actually a pretty cool technology, all you do is take a picture of your privates on the app and they send you a prescription.

HerpAlert‘s been in business for 2 years now, with doctors issuing prescriptions to pharmacies after people submit photos of their, umm … situation, for medical pros to review. The turnaround time is blazing fast, it only takes about 2 hours. 

Regardless, it’s tough to be PLURR when your dick is on fire. I guess this whole thing proves my point that Coachella is nothing more than an excuse for really attractive people to go fuck in the desert and get shirtless photos of each other for Instagram. I wonder if this will be in any of the recap videos that are all over the YouTube.

“Alright guys, let’s talk about my rash…”

To be fair, people could be reporting their cold sores. HSV-1 is a real bitch. Not that I know. Anyway, hopefully the symptoms weren’t too bad and everyone was able to enjoy the festival. Can’t wait for Chella ’20!