Cook County Sheriff Gets Flustered Trying To Remove A Donkey From The Highway
AP - It wasn’t a routine day for a sheriff’s officer after she spotted a donkey meandering along Interstate 90 near Chicago.
Video from a body camera taken Wednesday shows the bewildered Cook County officer radioing: “There’s a donkey in the middle of I-90.”
The officer also asked the donkey where it was from. It turns out the animal’s name was Dusty, who was eventually returned to its owner.
The phases this officer went through were amazing.
The video starts off so hot with the way she says “I gotta go!”
She says it in such a perfect I-don’t-have-time-for-this-bullshit cadence that makes it so good. Then the cadence drops to a little sweeter pitch when she calls the donkey “sweetie” showing a little bit of compassion to the lost lad.
And then finally she gives you a “is this actually fucking happening” reaction when she says she’s in the middle of I-90 with a donkey.
Just not your typical day for a Cook County officer who I’m sure was the talk of the department after they all sat around laughing their asses off at this dash cam footage.
I’ll tell you this though…you hire this woman if you want to get shit done. It may not be a pleasant experience (or maybe it was just a bad day for her), but I can promise you that people will listen because she sounds like she doesn’t fuck around.
Like she’d be the ultimate wedding planner to keep things on track. You’re worried about Kevin the Groomsman being an idiot shotgunning beers in pictures? Not on this fuckin lady’s watch. He’ll be first in line ready to smile before they even tell you to say cheese. You’re concerned about Kelly the Bridesmaid not waking up to get her hair done on time? This lady will be knocking on that fucking door with a nightstick until it’s permanently burned into her eardrums.
A real no-nonsense gal. I like it.