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The Time Kellen Winslow Went Full Wolf Of Wall Street On The Miami Hurricanes Locker Room - "I Ain't Fuckin' Apologizing! You Loved That Shit! We Ain't No Fuckin' Pussies!"

Great SI article about Miami’s 2004 Draft class, that had a record SIX players go in the first round.  My favorite part, by far, was this anecdote about Kellen Winslow, who, although he turned out to be such a classy respectable model member of society, had some red flags coming out of the U.

His best known incident was the infamous “I’M A FUCKING SOLDIER” outburst in the locker room after a tough loss to Tennessee where he had an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty during crunch time to basically cost them the game – he stood over and taunted a Tennessee DB who lay there injured after Winslow obliterated him with a block.

“It’s war,” Winslow said. “They don’t give a freaking you-know-what about you. They will kill you. They’re out there to kill you, so I’m [going] to kill them. You write that in the paper. You write that. You make money off that.”

In a video of the exchange, it appears that someone tried asking Winslow another question. Instead, he doubled down:

“Nah, man, I’m pissed! All ya’ll take this down. I’m pissed, man. We don’t care about nobody except this ‘U.’ We don’t. If I didn’t hurt him, he’d hurt me. They were gunning for my legs. I’m going to come right back at them. I’m a f—ing soldier!”

If you don’t remember, people went NUTS about this.  There were thinkpieces and wall to wall coverage on all the sports networks.  Even the political networks got involved for the disrespect towards the troops.

He issued an apology to the press“My outburst should in no shape or form be a reflection on this institution or the Miami football program. I meant no disrespect to the men and women who have served, or are currently serving, in the armed forces” yadda yadda.

Next step: his teammates and coaches.

…The comments drew criticism and made headlines nationwide. The country was only a few years removed from 9/11, and the Iraq war had begun earlier in the year. People thought it was insensitive for a football player to call the game a “war,” and himself a “solider.”

The Miami coaches asked Winslow to apologize to the team. They gathered everyone in the team meeting room, along with several university and athletic department officials. According to D.J. Williams, one of Winslow’s teammates who was also a member of that 2004 draft class, this is what happened next:

“Kellen went up there, and he was supposed to apologize. He took a deep breath. He said, ‘I guess everybody knows why we’re here and what happened last week. They want me to apologize.’ And he goes: ‘… I ain’t f—ing doing it.’ And the athletic director and the president’s face was like, what? Our strength and conditioning coach put his face in his hands and was like, Oh sh–.

Ahhh we were so close.  Fell apart as soon as he opened his mouth.

And he didn’t stop there – he went full Jordan Belfort on everyone’s ass.  In my head I can actually picture him turning around, facing the lockers, then spinning back around in a Wall Street power suit with coke residue on his nose and midgets being thrown through glass tables in the background.

“Kellen’s like, ‘I’m not f—ing doing it!’

He gets louder. He goes, ‘You know why I’m not f—ing doing it?’ He starts pointing guys out on the team: ‘Because you loved that sh–, you loved that sh–, and you loved that sh–. We ain’t no f—ing pussies.’

“And then he goes and sits down. There was silence for about five seconds, and then [coach] Larry Coker was like, ‘Uhh, O.K., break it up.’ And the meeting just ended.”

It didn’t deter the Browns, who were still the Browns, still a decade and a half away from the Baker-OBJ era.  No red flags or mental issues here – just a competitive guy.

Winslow’s teammates had seen him like this before. They interpreted it as a manifestation of his competitiveness. The Browns viewed his “soldier” comments the same way. “That was kind of the type of kid he was: unbelievably competitive,” Davis says. “It just solidified what we already knew: This kid wants to win. He was just a competitor.”

He later used this intense competitive drive towards dedicating himself to becoming the biggest piece of scum in society, a competition that he is very close to winning after masturbating in a Target parking lot while looking for a Boston Market and getting arrested on charges of kidnapping, rape, sodomy and indecent exposure for allegedly raping a 54 year old woman in his Hummer and allegedly raping a 59 year old homeless woman and allegedly raping an unconscious 17 year old and allegedly walking into a 55 year old woman’s home and whipping his dick out and allegedly masturbating next to a 77 year old woman in the gym hot tub and allegedly having like 1 million gigs of “elderly” porn on his computers.

To quote Jordan Belfort – “was this all legal? Absolutely not.”


via SI