The Cubs Are Blatantly Violating The International Treaty On Open Skies Today

It would take a literal angel to make a play on those balls and last I checked Mike Trout didn’t even get on the plane. Good news for Cubs’ pitchers, terrible for baseball fans everywhere. Personally I’m not lying when I say I had these 3 games circled for months but with the Cubs sitting at 4-8 I’m willing to sacrifice for the good of the club. His sub is Peter Bourjos and calling him the worst offensive outfielder in baseball wouldn’t be over the top.

Anyways point is the Cubs are mashing baseballs like you hope to see from MLB’s equivalent of a 16-inch softball team. It’s going to be a summer of double digits and I for one am very excited. Buy a shirt.

Btw and completely off topic, the Cubs have only scored an even amount of runs in all their games so far. This keeps up and I’m officially declaring black magic on the 2019 Cubs

PS –