Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 14 - Ranking The Most Genuine Laughter Texts
-How would you rank the most genuine laugh responses over text? Here’s what I have
1. Lmfao
2. Hahahaha (4 or more)
3. Lmao
4. Hahaha
5. Haha
6. Lol
Old person sharing Facebook meme/serial killer: ROFLOL
-In high school, me and my friends made a vow to never say “haha” or “lol” in our group chat, because we know it feels disingenuous. Instead, we say “lawl” when we find something funny. The pact remains to this day.
-When eating a meal that requires a fork and knife (steak, chicken parm, etc.), I always cut up the meat into many pieces first and then eat. Why do so many people cut off one piece at a time and eat as they go? I think that’s much more tedious and makes for a less enjoyable eating experience. I’m a believer in “work hard, play hard.” I like to get all the cutting out of the way so I can just sit back, relax, and feast.
-What if everyone in America just agrees to not pay their taxes one year? They can’t arrest us all. (Can they?)
-Have you ever been walking around the city and gotten stopped by the red hand sign at an intersection? A crowd forms on your corner as you wait. You peer across the street and see a large crowd forming on that side too. Finally, the green walking man pops up and both crowds walk towards each other. Whenever that happens, I feel like I’m in the opening scene of a movie.
-As a kid, one of life’s greatest thrills was convincing your parents to let you have a sleepover with your friends.
-Why don’t more people flash fake FBI badges to get into places? On TV shows all the time, agents will say “FBI”, quickly flash their badge, and BOOM they’re in. There’s not even a thorough check of the badge to see if it’s legitimate. If you look the part, find a decent looking fake badge, and flash it quickly with confidence, I think it would definitely work.
-Speaking of the FBI, why are their cars so obvious? They’re always big, black SUVs. When they’re trying to tail someone, the person always notices and thinks “Well the FBI is following me.” Maybe try a Honda Civic, FBI.
The above two points mainly stem from me watching “The Blacklist”, a great show. I assume other FBI shows are similar.
-On the train, when someone has their bag on the seat next to them and they move it so you can sit down, I find it unnecessary to say “thank you.” Your bag should not be there to begin with. You did not pay for two seats. That seat is for a person. I shouldn’t have to thank someone for just obeying a basic rule of society.
Thoughts I Tweeted This Week
-Yesterday was apparently National Sibling’s Day. AGAIN. I just refuse to believe that. There’s absolutely no chance it’s been 12 months since my Instagram feed has been cluttered with this shit. I think a few people just decided to post it yesterday, and everyone else saw the hashtags and followed.
-There are real people out there, living amongst us and breathing our air, who don’t think pink is the best Starburst flavor. Scary thought.
Guest Thought Of The Week
Going forward, when someone from the Barstool Office gives me a good thought to use, I will be including it in this blog as a Guest Thought.
From Zah:
-I hate when a person asks “How do you feel?” after wishing someone a Happy Birthday. What do you mean “How do I feel?” Why would I feel any different?! It’s just another day.
Audience Thought Of The Week
If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.
From @SoupOrSaladino on Twitter
-Being all over something “like white on rice” is a cool saying unless of course you prefer brown rice. But being all over something “like brown on rice” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. However, I might just start saying it that way to really emphasize how ignorant the original phrase is.
Thank you for your time.