Are You Sad That You Missed Out On Fyre Fest? Well There's A Fyre Fest Pop-Up Bar Coming To Chicago

(Chicago Eater)–It sounds like an April Fools’ Day joke, but a spokesperson for Replay Lincoln Park is adamant that management’s next pop-up will be based on the doomed Fyre Festival. That’s the infamously abysmal “luxury music festival” in the Bahamian island of Great Exuma was the brainchild of former entrepreneur Billy McFarland and rapper Ja Rule. Festival attendees arrived expecting luxurious amenities and celebrity appearances — instead they found rickety tents, soaked mattresses, and the saddest cheese sandwiches in the world. Replay, the arcade bar that’s turned into a pop-up venue, is promising better experiences from May 3 through May 19. Staff will serve “gourmet cheese sandwiches” and have spiked frozen drinks. VIP tickets are $20 and available at the link.

Every once in a while an idea comes along and you instantly think “FUCK, why didn’t I come up with that?!” well boys and girls. This is one of those times. Fyre Fest was the coolest disaster that ever happened. So cool that two documentaries about it came out at the same time and EVERYONE watched both. That’s the type of thing you need to capitalize on. Strike while the iron is hot. I have a platform that allows me to reach thousands of people in the perfect demo for a music fest pop-up bar and it would’ve sold out instantly.

And the best part…it is SUPPOSED to suck. I make things that suck all the time by accident. I mean this blog might even suck. I could definitely throw a party that sucks. Get some craft singles, some tap water, and put an ipod on shuffle then charge people $20 to come in and post shit to instagram about how they went to a Fyre Fest party LOL. And if anyone complains that I didn’t truck in sand, or palm trees, or instagram models, well…buddy that is the joke. This party is supposed to suck. It’s suppose to capture the spirity of Fyre Fest, not the look. Then maybe lock the doors and trap them in there for a while until their parents pay another $20 for them to get out. Stacks on stacks. It’s a fool proof business plan. Billy McFarland promised people the greatest party of all time. I would be promising the shittiest party of all-time and I for sure would be able to deliver on that.

PS: I still think Ja Rule is sweet and Old Thing Back remix is a JAM

PPS: The instagram model featured in one of the docs, Alyssa Lynch… I think I’m in love with her