Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

An Artist/Wizard Turns a $20 Bill Into Rocky and We Need This as Our Currency

I know that last year we decided we were going to give the $20 bill to Harriet Tubman. Because Andrew Jackson was an asshole in ways that never came up in history class, and that’s fine by me. I’m not about to die on the hill of defending a President I never think about unless his picture is piling up in front of me at the ATM. And Harriet Tubman was a badass who ran the Underground Railroad right through the very same sub-basement that would later become the Batcave:

So I’m fine with the switch. Or was. Before this magical pencil virtuoso converted that angry old racist’s portrait into Rocky Balboa. Let’s give Tubman some other currency. Hell, let’s make a whole new one for her, like a $25 bill. We’ll use them. When you can, with just a few ink strokes, turn an unpopular historical figure into the best fictional symbol of America, the very embodiment of our plucky underdog with strength, resolve and courage, you do it. It’ll save us a fortune, first of all. And second, it’ll show the rest of the world what we are all about. In our burning heart, the unmistakable fire.

Get on it, US Treasury. For the good of the nation. I need this five minutes ago.