If You Wouldn't Chase Your Runaway Dog Across A 6-Lane Highway While Butt Naked, You Are A Bad Owner

Miami Herald- How far would you go to rescue your dog if it got out of your car on busy Interstate 95? Would you get dressed first before you venture onto the roadway and dash across six lanes and back?

If this is the reason a Florida woman left her car to walk nude across I95 near Flagler Beach on Friday then that’s devotion. Of course, it begs the question why was she naked in the car in the first place? Apparently, a man was walking with her, carrying a dog, on the way back across six lanes toward a blue car parked on the side of the road. The man, however, was dressed.

I know many people will watch that video, snicker to themselves, and lob insults at the Sunshine State from atop their ivory towers. But I say fuck that. Sure, Florida Man and Florida Woman have done plenty of wrong in their respective lives that have entertained us to no end. But when a dog runs away, everyone should act without a care in the world like a typical Florida Person. That person’s gotta think: You got a pet. You got a responsibility. If your dog is lost, you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog. There is no time for socks, shoes, underwear when a pooch is all alone in the world. What’s needed in that moment is action not clothes, and clearly Florida Woman has action in spades. Why she is bare ass naked in her car is between herself and her God. But that type of go-getter attitude is likely the reason she was able to get her dog back*.

*Admittedly I can’t say for sure if that was actually her dog or if it even ran away. Since it’s Florida, anything is possible (trademark Kevin Garnett). But for today, I am going to give the good people of Florida a W for all the content they have provided over the years and call this nude woman a hero. I am also going to say a prayer for the dog just in case because Florida.