Divvy To Get A $50 Million And 10,000 Bike Increase And...All Bikes Will Be Electric. Let Me Be The First To Say...FUCK That

(Curbed)–Lyft plans to drop $50 million into the Divvy bike-share program while adding electric bikes, doubling the size of the program, and installing stations in every ward. The proposed contract, which was announced last week, is still pending approval from City Council.

Lyft, which purchased Divvy’s operator Motivate last year, would have to modernize the program by 2021. That means bringing Divvy to every ward, and adding 10,500 bikes and 175 stations. All new bikes would be electric, pedal-assist bikes and have the ability to lock onto a normal bike rack.

This is one of those things where on the surface everything looks amazing. Less crowded CTA systems…nice. Better for the planet…great. A healthier population…wonderful. Job training for formal criminals…swell. Even bikes for low-income people and the disabled. Sensational. Sounds like a bike for every man woman and child. The Devils is always in the detail though and this is what Lyft and Divvy are forgetting…people who ride bikes are assholes and now you’re giving them bicyles with little electic engines on them. You know what this is going to turn Chicago into?

Chicago will be Saigon. People who ride bikes in the city are already the most entitled assholes on the planet. Traffic laws don’t apply to them. They always seem to have the right of way. They have their nose up in the air because they’re being healthy and lowering their carbon foot print. Now they’re going to have a solar powered battery motor as they ride to their non-profit sector job or Beto O’Rourke campaign rally. Bobbing and weaving on whim whoever it suits them. Are they a motor cycle, are they in the bike lane, side walk? Nobody knows, but they’ll use them all and it’ll cause me to have car sickness as my driver who immigrated from some Asian country to America where he thought he was leaving bike traffic in the rear view mirror. Sad day.