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The Giants Have Broken George RR Martin

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In case you’re the last person in the Seven Kingdoms who doesn’t know, George RR Martin not only wrote all the books of Game of Thrones, he claims to be both a Jets and a Giants fan. Which is so utterly preposterous I’ll believe you can project your consciousness into a direwolf and get a high price for Dwarf Penis from a Cock Merchant before I believe such a person exists.

What I do know is that he hates the Patriots. With the white hot intensity of thousand barrels of Wildfire. And he’s used both the appendixes in the books to write about “The Life of the Triarch Belicho, a famous Volantene patriot whose unbroken succession of conquests and triumphs ended rather abruptly when he was eaten by Giants.”

And his own blog to rant about “what a vile thing is Evil Little Bill. The way he treated Wes Welker is disgraceful. Man has absolutely no loyalty to anyone. Watch and see, when Tom Brady’s talents start to fade, and they will, it happens to all of them, Evil Little Bill will ship him out as well.” Note that he wrote that three championships ago.

So the hatred is real. It’s just that, literary talent and clever wordsmithing aside, those sentiments could be expressed by every fan of either team. But what even the best writer in the world could never have the talent to do is fake this level of anger toward the Giants. The actual ones. From our world. His blog today:

Kill Me Now.

The Giants have traded Odell Beckham Junior to the Cleveland Browns.

They get a first (the 17th overall) and a third in this year’s draft, and a safety, Jabril Peppers.

The Giants are GOING FOR IT ALL, clearly. …

Their best wideout, and one of the very best in the NFL. I’ve been watching and rooting for the G-Men since “the Greatest Game Ever Played” in 1958. Beckham was not only the best receiver on today’s Giants, but he was the best receiver this storied NFL franchise has EVER had in their long history, and probably the best receiver they will ever have. They are certainly not going to replace him with the 17th overall pick in the forthcoming draft. …

[L]ike I said, it sure looks like the Giants are going for it all… they are going for the first overall pick in 2020.

No way that any team can replace its best wideout, its best pass rusher, its best safety, and its best run stuffer in one year, two years, three years.

I thought the last two seasons were rough for Giants fans. Next year is going to make them look like the good old days.

Nice going, Dave Gettleman. Now you’ve gone and done it. You broke the last unbreakable man. A man who’s never created a character he couldn’t make you love. And who’s never created a character you loved so much that he wasn’t willing to slaughter them mercilessly while you watched in horror. The man who made Ned Stark the hero of an epic saga and cut his head off in a just a few chapters. Who’s made you root for a man who betrayed his loyalty oath by committing regicide on his own king and makes babies with his sister. You’ve upset the guy who wrote the Red Wedding, for love of God.

You broke the heart of our Nerd Godking. Which I didn’t think was possible after The Mountain vs. The Viper. For that reason alone the Giants deserve to lose. Just not enough to get that first overall pick in 2020. For shame, Gettleman.

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