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DiCaprio's Dating History in Graph Form Will Make You Hate Your Pathetic Existence

Gisele Dicaprio

SourceLenoardi DiCaprio has long been one of Hollywood’s most eligible and enviable bachelors.

But it seems he has a penchant for younger women, according to data analysis of his ex-girlfriends and former flames.

One Reddit user carefully studied DiCaprio, 44, and his long list of lovers and concluded that he refuses to date woman over the age of 25, barely more than half of the Oscar-winner’s age. …

DiCaprio

Reddit user TrustLittleBrother created a graph to show the relationship between his age and that of the women he dates and it reveals his flames average 22.9 years old.

The graph lists eight of his ex-girlfriends, and out of all of them, three were 25, the oldest age he’s ever gone out with.

Throughout the 2000s I’ve been of the opinion that the faces on the Mt. Rushmore of Chickhounds have been Derek Jeter, Justin Timberlake, Tom Brady and DiCaprio. Brady gets an asterisk because he went to the bench so early on. Jeter and Timberlake have since taken themselves out of the game. Leaving Leo to reign supreme at the top of the Celebrity Sex food chain.

And this seals it. In graphic form. Even if you’re not good with numbers, here is all you need to know – all you already knew – laid out in an easy to understand chart. This man is a more than an actor, fashion icon, celebrity or the best friend a man’s own penis ever had. He’s a flat out genius.

Look at the system he not only developed, but perfected. It works to perfection. This is less like being a serial dater and more like being a college football coach. He’s Nick Saban. He gets his pick of the recruits, he develops them for three or four years, coaches them up, takes advantage of their talents, then sends them off into the world and wins with their replacements. And like at Bama, every prospect wants to go to the University of Leo’s Bedroom because it’s a great career move. So he’s built a fully sustainable perpetual motion machine for his own sexual gratification. One that he should win the Nobel Prize for.

McConaghey said it in Dazed and Confused. DiCaprio turned it into a lifestyle.

And if I’m interpreting this data correctly and extrapolating it out, that would mean current girlfriend Camila Morrone has at most four years left. Which means Leo is probably already sitting in some high school senior’s living room, talking to her parents on a recruiting visit. The clock is ticking, sister.