Antonio Brown's Golden Mustache Is Officially Gone!
While Steelers fans mourn the end of Killer B’s Era that resulted in no Super Bowls or even Super Bowl Appearances, NFL fans are mourning the end of the Antonio Brown Golden Mustache Era. Like many other greats in NFL history, it’s time was cut short way too early but the memories and highlights of its time in the sun will live on forever in our hearts and in countless sports blog archives.
Now that it is gone we can all agree that the golden mustache was just AB’s Mr. Big Chest’s Antonio’s way of changing his public persona to everyone around him like most facial hair changes do. Growing a beard shows you are an independent “edgy” thinker, growing a goatee shows you are a bad boy without a care in the world, and growing a mustache then dying it gold while giving yourself crazy nicknames proves you are someone that doesn’t give a fuck about anything. You can trade a player with normal facial hair to Buffalo and call their bluff about retiring and giving up millions of dollars instead of signing a new contract. But someone with a golden mustache named Mr. Big Chest is clearly someone that does not conform to the simple rules of man. Now that Antonio has a new team and a new contract with a shit ton of guaranteed money, he no longer needed to convince the world (mainly the Steelers front office) that he doesn’t give a fuck. So the golden mustache disappeared just as quickly and mysteriously as it had appeared a few weeks back and I imagine the moniker Mr. Big Chest will follow. I hope all future unhappy superstars in every league took notes and bought some blonde Just For Men for their upcoming standoffs with the team they are under contract with for multiple years and the hordes of eccentric Raiders fans that treat every home game like Halloween can come up with a better nickname for Antonio Brown than his initials considering he is first ballot Hall of Fame player and all.
Anyway, congratulations to Antonio Brown on his new team, old facial hair, and new but kinda old public perception.
