Hero Woman Gets Unfairly Arrested For Drinking An Entire 6-Pack In A Target Dressing Room

I really wish she didnt steal the 200 dollars worth of other stuff because then I could have been on her side. Honestly, I still think they should cut her a break on this charge. Do you know how bad of a spot you have to be in to drink a 6 pack of Stella at 3:30 in the afternoon inside a Target dressing room?

Here’s I imagine things went down. Things weren’t going her way. She just needed to unwind and take a break. Her boss was being a fucking dick for no reason. Her boyfriend broke up with her. She constantly has gas and it’s causing her issues in her social life. The farting is nonstop. Stinky ones too. So, she drinks because she’s ashamed of the wind. It’s the reason why she’s drinking in a Target dressing room. She wants to drink in public but cant drink at a bar because of all the farting.

The more she drinks, the more she farts.

“DAMN THIS OUTRAGEOUS GAS OF MINE,” she screams from inside the dressing room. “WHY DO YOU FLOW LIKE MIGHTY MISSISSIPPI FROM MY ASSHOLE!?”

Truth be known, I think it’s the gluten. If she would switch to a gluten-free beer, she might not be as gassy and she might not be in jail. Let that be a lesson to everyone out there. Although it sounds bitchmade, gluten allergies are real and can be devastating. It’s something I certainly dont take lightly and neither should you.

PS: I’m not sure why this blogged ended up this way. I’m gonna go eat some lunch and regroup.