The Dream of Danny Amendola Returning to New England is Dead

Welp. It was fun to think about for 48 hours or so.

When the Dolphins announced they were releasing Danny Amendola there wasn’t a man, woman, or child in New England who wasn’t dreaming dreams of seeing him back in his No. 80 Patriots jersey doing incredible Danny Amendola things at the end of Tom Brady passes. But as Crowded House once sang, don’t dream, it’s over.

It just seemed like such a natural move. He’d be reunited with the quarterback whose Instagram posts he’s been commenting under. He’d get to see Gronk again:

… and Julian Edelman:

He’d get Olivia Culpo back to her ancestral homeland, the lovely and buccolic Rhode Island, as opposed to shitholes like South Florida and the Caribbean:

But give credit where credit is due. The Lions came in and blew any offer the Patriots would’ve given right out of the water. I have no doubt Bill Belichick wouldn’t have minded at all that Danny Playoffs called him “an asshole” if he could’ve gotten him for the right cap figure. But a minimum of $4.5 million and up to $5.75 million for a guy who would at best be their second best slot option is just too rich for the Patriots blood.

And give credit to Amendola for being a great businessman. He’s built up a resume he can take to teams looking to add a proven winner with leadership skills and a tremendous work to be a presence in a locker room in desperate need of all of those things. He keeps gambling on himself in hopes someone will pay him, and they keep doing it. Good for him. I mean, this means another year with zero shot at a long playoff run, but if you begrudge a man with two rings already his chance to cash in, you’re not my kind of American. But like all Pats fans, I’m sorry the weekend rumors of him and the Patriots being interested in getting back together didn’t work out.

At least we’ll always have the championships. And my close, personal friendship with him.

Godspeed, Danny Playoffs, from a grateful New England.