Who Put This Goddamn Whale In The Rainforest?
Scientists were shocked when they found a carcass of a humpback whale, which looks as if it only recently died, in the rain forest in South America. The 36-foot beast, which appears as if it has no wounds or significant injuries on initial inspections, was only discovered when a flock of vultures were seen swooping above it. A team of biologists from Brazilian institute Bicho D’agua raced to see what was happening only to find the creature stranded in the middle of the jungle.
We need some answers and we need them fast. I’m tired of people just putting whales in the rainforest and leaving them for other people to clean up. What the hell is going on around here! We live in a society.
Humpback Whales are not usually found this close to the Northern coast of Brazil in February and the freshwater found near the rainforest certainly isn’t a normal place for a whale. This clearly smells of foul play. Someone was being a real rascal and dropped this Cetacean off in the rainforest as a good old fashioned joke. We’ve all done our fair share of ding dong ditching or maybe some prank calls, but really, what better way to get your friend’s goat than plop a 36 foot, 30,000 lb mammal in an inconvenient place?
The Jig is up though. I don’t know who would have the motive to do something like this but my only suggestion is that you come get it and put it back immediately. The whale unfortunately is no longer with us, but at least if it was in the ocean there are more things equipped to dispose of a whale easily. The rainforest is no place for a whale carcass.
(There is also a slight chance that the Whale just washed into the river mouth after getting swept up in the tide and carried into the rainforest.)