Should We Talk About This Slutty Abe Lincoln Statue?

The Los Angeles Federal Courthouse apparently has an EXTREMELY sexual statue of Abraham Lincoln, and I’m not sure that should be allowed to exist. Are we supposed to sexualize our presidents? I feel like no? The president is supposed to be like the parental figure of the nation, and you’re not supposed to want to fuck your dad, you know? Although, I did have a sex dream about JFK once. He’s super sexy though, so I feel like that’s okay:

 Sorry, can’t let this turn into a blog about how hot JFK is. Anyways. Look at this fucking statue!!

Why is that like one of those “what she sees vs. what you see” memes? Imagine making a statue of ABRAHAM LINCOLN like that and putting it in a federal courthouse. Who decided that? Who was like hm how can we reach the youths and get them interested in government? Oh, I know, with a thirst trap! This is incredible. Look at his nipples. Look at the raised areolas. He even has forearm veins. What the fuck.

He looks like every single fuck boy I’ve ever met. Put a cigarette in his hand and change his linen pants to chubbies and that’s the spitting image of my ex. Even his hair is gelled like he’s in an early 2000s boyband! Actually, he sort of looks like Justin Bieber in that phase of his life where no one talked about him but he was lowkey super hot:

Go to the 2 minute mark and imagine it’s the statue of Abe Lincoln grabbing his own dick instead of JB. Anyways. I’m pretty sure it’s inappropriate to sexualize to a president like this, but maybe that’s the way all statues of presidents will be from now on. I mean… give me a hot statue of young Obama any day.