Queensland Australia Offers Emojis For License Plates: I'm Calling Dibs On The Pumpkin And Eggplant

If a personalised number plate simply isn’t enough to express your complex personality, worry not – soon you will be able to add an emoji to the mix.

Ok, you’ll have to move to Queensland, Australia – but once that’s sorted, you can get your own little smiley starting next month.

The emojis will cost you some extra of course, and are only for decoration.

Oh, and only a few positive faces are allowed, so you’d better be a chirpy driver or else things won’t match up.

Your choice will be limited to laughing out loud, a winking face emoji, the cool sunglasses, the heart eyes, and the good old standard smiley face.

Oh. Ok. Fuck this. If you are gonna open up the world of emojis to license plates, you gotta open up all of them. You cant just limit the scope to a few happy faces. I need the cum emoji. The peach emoji. The eggplant emoji.

Imagine me driving by in my brand new Subaru Outback. I’m in Australia and I just downed a Foster’s on my way home from work. While I pass by a few ladies, I tip my Australian floppy-billed hat and say, “Go’day, ladies. You gave a spot of a wake up to my mate,” while pointing to my dick. My dick is my mate in this scenario.

When I drive away, they see my plates. 6ixNine with an eggplant emoji. They know I am DTF (down to fuck). I’m not though. I’m tired after a long day on the river. You see, I’m a park ranger and I know that every 90 days a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland so I aint got any more time to worry about those ladies sexual proclivities.