Chicago Thief Robs Bank, Calls a Lyft, Immediately Gets Caught

Source:

A man has been charged with robbing a bank in northwest suburban Rolling Meadows and hiring a Lyft car to escape to O’Hare Airport.

Jonathan Decorah is accused of robbing almost $6,000 the Ben Franklin Bank of Illinois in the 3200 block of Kirchoff Road, according to a criminal complaint filed by the FBI on Monday.

Decorah, 43, of Arlington Heights, allegedly exited his hired Lyft car and entered the bank at 9:35 a.m. on Feb. 9, the complaint states.

He handed a teller a note that said, “Give me all the money or I’ll blow your head off. I got two guys outside with machine guns,” the complaint states. Decorah kept one hand inside his jacket.

Another employee saw Decorah from a distance and remembered him as a regular customer, the complaint states. The employee recognized Decorah’s crooked nose when it slipped from his mask.

The bank manager saw Decorah from a distance and recognized him, too, according to the complaint. The manager didn’t realize it was a robbery until the teller gestured that it was.

The manager stayed by a window and saw Decorah walk the cash to a white car idling with a ride-sharing sticker on the back and a someone sitting in the driver’s seat, the complaint states.

Decorah entered a rear seat and added O’Hare airport as his next destination, the complaint states. On the way to the United Airlines Terminal, Decorah asked his driver if there were any Chase banks on the way there. The driver said no.

Police found and arrested Decorah at O’Hare at 2:10 p.m., the complaint states. He had about $4,665 on him.

The FBI said Decorah admitted to the robbery and to sending photos of the stolen money to a friend.

Decorah pleaded guilty twice to domestic battery in the last decade, according to Cook County court records. He has two theft convictions from the 1990s.

*WSD note* This blog was originally published 1 hour ago.  I meant to blot my cell phone number out of the screen shots, but forgot because I had to record dog walk with Eddie, hit schedule and forgot to edit the pics.  If your were one of the 2 dozen people to call me, congrats on having a white sox blogger’s phone number.  Take care of her.  Also don’t tell Carl I fucked up eastern time/central time again and scheduled it for 230pm instead of 330pm because he’ll yell at me.  

Ooooookay.  So Lyft, Uber and other ride share services can track down a bank robber no problem just minutes after they hold up a teller at gun point, but every time I leave my wallet or cell phone in the backseat of an Uber at 3:30am on the way home from the Hangge Uppe they conveniently never happen to find it?

That’s seriously fucked up.  You know how many cell phones I’ve left in Ubers?  Well if we’re going off my billing records, at least 3.  I also bought one on craigslist a few months back and lost that one too.

I’m paying installment plans on two phones right now because I’ve left phones in ubers:

and recently completed payment on this phone, not to brag:

This doesn’t include the two wallets I’ve left in the back of ubers either.

Am I an idiot?  Undoubtedly yes.  But that doesn’t excuse Uber and Lyft from absconding with my phones and wallets all the time. Anyone with a brain knows that those phones and shit aren’t making it until 12pm the next day before being sold to a pawn shop.  Fucking assholes.

Moral of the story is this: if you’re gonna catch bank robbers and other (alleged) felons using ride shares to bolt from the scene or their (alleged) crimes, then you should give me and other people their cell phones and wallets back when they drunkenly leave them in the cars.

That’s what’s fair.