BREAKING: Markelle Fultz Traded To The Magic!!! The Impossible Has Happened!!!

GOOOOOOODBYYYYYEEEEEEEE MARKELLLLLEEEEE! Is it OK to stop beating around the bush and stop babying this kid now? The fact the Sixers got something – ANYTHING of substance for arguably one of the worst #1 overall picks since the dawn of man. It didn’t matter where he went or what we got for him, the fact this actually happened is a big time testament to Elton Brand and Co. With only about 20 min to spare, no less. What a day of delight!

Farewell, Markelle. Those pump fakes that for some fucking reason existed at the foul line will certainly be missed.

Seriously though, the kid is loaded with untapped talent if he ever gets his shoulder/mind right. Wish Markelle nothing but the best. Now do me a favor and CUE IT!

PS – FUCK YOU SMITTY!!!