Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Thursday, December 5th, 2024Starting Soon
Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 2 | No One is Safe With Survival at StakeWATCH NOW

The Rocket Hit 84mph This Weekend

Watching this makes me realize I need an MLB Senior league like how the PGA has the Champions Tour. Doesn’t even have to be big. Just give me a 4-team league and stack it with Clemens, Bonds, Frank Thomas, Sammy (obviously), Jose Canseco… all the classics. Anything goes. Steroids, cocaine, bullpen carts but for the outfielders so you don’t have to jog back and forth constantly. Make it a real players-first league for once. With all the bitching & moaning about the current state of MLB contracts I think a little market competition would go a long way.

Anyways, The Rocket was gassing up some mid-80’s ched sauce this weekend at the UT Alumni game and you better believe I loved it. The Rocket is on a short list of Best Evers in baseball: 24 seasons, 139.0 WAR, #1 in MLB in ERA+ and FIP in his 20’s, 30’s and 40’s to go along with 7 ERA titles, 118 CG’s, 46 shutouts, 5 strikeout titles, 7 Cy Youngs, an MVP and of course the best mechanics of all time.

Naturally I’m interested in his most recent appearance:

84 is heat. I would know. Not for nothing, presumable try-hard Duke Ellis probably should have just rolled over on a soft 3 hopper to the shortstop. Probably a better look than showing up the program’s most notable alumn no?

Uh oh. Imagine umpiring the UT Almuni game and squeezing Roger Clemens. Then imagine being 56 years old and having a plus-splitter.

THEN imagine booting a double play ball FOR YOUR DAD. Seriously just think about your dad for a second. Think of him working through a bases loaded jam against the University of Texas baseball team. I don’t care if he’s a fucking banker or a truck driver or a mechanic just think of your dad. Laboring through a tight zone, trying to find his command and oops you can’t get him 2 the easy way. That would suck because most dads work really hard and last thing you want to do is let them down.

Anyways, final thing on the agenda for this morning is Rocket’s glove. This thing is a mainstay. He hasn’t pitched professionally in 12 years and you know he still oils and massages that thing every single night.

Screen Shot 2019-02-03 at 10.03.16 AM

As a baseball guy I love tradition and nothing says tradition like the 12.5 inch Roger Clemens full-back microfiber, lightweight mesh basket-web TPX baseball glove. There’s only one guy on the planet who could wear this glove and it was The Rocket Roger Clemens.

Stay Hot Rocket.