Dear Diary: Peace Up, A-Town Down
Peace up/out, Atlanta.
Friday/Saturday
Dear Diary,
It’s been awhile since we’ve last spoken. I decided to just wait until Saturday evening to write this so I could do a full Friday day and night recap, along with my Saturday trip back to New York.
If you remember from my last diary entry, I went to bed with an oncoming cold Thursday night. Woke up Friday morning and the cold was in full blown effect. I stayed in bed for a bit, trying to muster up enough strength for day. I then took a cold shower because the outdoor hot tub was left running all night. Bothersome.
Loaded up on a bunch of meds. Zyrtec, Alka-Seltzer, Airborne from Brett, nasal spray, vitamins. Just a real bender.
Uber got here for Dana B, Ria, Fran, Noah and I. The back of his car had a clear dent from a presumable accident. Never a good sign. But his driving was fine.
We arrived at The Ivy and it was another star-studded day in the greenroom. Chad Ochocinco came by and was as eccentric as you’d expect. He was claiming to have not had sex until he was 27, had some wild Answer The Internet responses, and then started asking people about marriage and talked divorce rates. There really is only one Ochocinco.
Camille Kostek arrived to do Chicks In The Office in the RV. I also had a video to do with her so waited in the RV and talked to Larry the driver. First time I really got to talk with him. He was telling me how the crowd was chanting his name and singing to him the night before. His son and 73-year-old brother are both big Stoolies and can’t believe the week Larry is having. I’m sure it’ll be tough for him going back to reality, but I hope he’s enjoyed himself.
Back in the greenroom, Camille gave me a hug and said hi. Given that she’s known for #NeverNotDancing I decided she should review my dance moves from Wednesday night at Pup Punk.
It was a more positive review than I expected, so I’ll take it.
Also, hot seat: Gronk?
You be the judge.
Went to the bathroom and saw Riggs shirtless as he was getting changed. I said “Oh hell yeah. Using this image in the beat lab” and walked out.
Then it was time for radio. We had a trio of guests with Charcandrick West, Chris Johnson, and Marquette King. I confronted Chris Johnson on Dave and Frankie’s behalf about his missed pizza review. He claimed that it got moved back an hour, and he was 20 minutes late. I don’t know what happened, but I know Team Portnoy is filled with honor and integrity so I’m not buying CJ2K’s story.
Then headed out for Rough N’ Rowdy. It was an awesome night. Rough N’ Rowdy is truly one of the most entertaining events in the world. The fights were great, the commentary was funny (I couldn’t hear it but I’m sure it was), and there were some awesome guests: Sam Darnold, Josh Allen, Blake Bortles, Camille Kostek, Justin Tuck, Kyle Rudolph, Waka Flocka, and more – including Diplo who was casually talking to Marty Mush. I turned around and thought I was seeing things. I wasn’t positive if it was Diplo but I recorded it just in case, and it was.
Later, I had to run out to grab Scott Zolak and escort him to the broadcast table. He was very nice and very excited. During the broadcast, he kept turning to me and saying “Smokes.” I’m not sure what he was saying since I didn’t have a headset, but this didn’t seem very nice.
I also got to meet Robert Kraft’s son Dan. I was already pulling for the Pats tomorrow, but now I really am. He was very nice and told me he loved “Vape God.” That’s all I needed to hear. Go Patriots!
As the venue was filling up, I needed to get some friends in. I got a casual text from a Playboy model asking if she and her friends (including Rachel Bush) could get in. I told her I would pull a few strings. Big Cat mentioned it on the broadcast and it seems like I accidentally started a Twitter war between Rachel and the Call Her Daddy girls. Oops.
In the main events, Jared Goff’s friend was an absolute monster during his victory. Chef knocked out Twitter Hack in like 12 seconds. I was looking down and actually missed the knockout punch, so that sucks. What I did see was the Twitter Hack attack Frankie. I’m not sure if this made the stream, but Frankie was working the camera in the ring’s corner and Twitter Hack ran towards him and punched/pushed him. Guy is a legitimate douche bag.
As for Marty vs. Matt Brown, it was maybe the best fight in Rough N’ Rowdy history. Both guys looked like legitimate boxers. I was stunned. They both put up a great showing, and I feel like we might get a rematch down the road.
At the afterparty, I went to the bar and ordered a drink. The bartender handed it to me and I thought he said “seven” which confused me because I thought it was an open bar. So I said, “Is it not an open bar?” He said “It’s an open bar, but tips are appreciated!” So I had no choice at that point and tipped him. I wonder if he purposely muttered something so exactly that would unfold.
Headed back to House 1 for an afterparty and then came to House 2. I had the most talkative Uber driver on the planet. It was 3:30 AM, and he didn’t stop talking to me the entire ride. He was a nice guy, but I could’ve lived with silence. We even sat in the driveway talking for 5 more minutes at the house. Never had that happen before.
Woke up today and took an Uber to the airport with Dana and Liz. Security had those little stations where each person has their own spot and grabs the boxes from underneath. Like this.
The guy behind me didn’t understand that, and just kept standing behind me rushing me even though it was just us two. I muttered under my breathe “You can take another station” but not loud enough for him to hear me.
I got McDonald’s for breakfast and then went to pick up a water bottle at a convenience store. I had my empty iced coffee cup at the register and noticed a garbage can behind the counter. I asked if she’d mind throwing it out. She gave me a dirty look as if I had asked her for a kidney. What a bitch.
Boarded the plane shortly after. Switched to an aisle seat so I didn’t have to force someone up 4 times to go to the bathroom. I was in an exit row and needed to give the flight attendant “verbal confirmation” that I could help in the case of an emergency. I lied and said yes.
We landed back in New York and I headed home. Trip really flew by. I hope you enjoyed reading every small detail of my day.
Until next time Diary,
Peace Up, A-Town Down