Dear Diary: I Went To A Rock & Roll Concert Tonight

Me at a concert for my favorite Rock & Roll band – Pup Punk

Wednesday

Dear Diary,

I woke up feeling very warm. I had set the temperature to 74 before going to bed. I wanted to warm up my bathroom to avoid being cold in the shower again. It was to no avail. I think after three days, I’ve finally realized that it actually is a hot water issue. The center of the shower stream is hot, but the outer edges of the stream spout colder water, making it a really not enjoyable experience for a third straight day. Before leaving, I tried a strawberry Greek yogurt from the fridge. Turns out I don’t like Greek yogurt.

Now for what you’ve all been waiting for: Did I have Uber driver Denis for a third straight day?

*Drum roll, please*

No.

It was really disappointing. Instead, I had Jose. It said he was supposed to arrive in a red SUV, but instead pulled up in a black regular car. (Is there a specific word for just normal small cars? Like a Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, etc. We have SUVs, minivans, but what would we call them?) Anyway, I of course made a comment as soon as I got in the car. “Oh I was looking for a red SUV. This is a different car.” He explained that his normal car was in the shop or something. I was still a bit suspicious.

Jose and I didn’t partake in conversation. After a few minutes of silence, he asked if I needed to charge my phone. A nice courtesy, but a bit strange to just randomly ask. Nothing I did prompted him to think I was low on battery. Plus, it was clear that I was just starting my day and most people charge their phones overnight. Again, a nice courtesy but just unnecessary.

I got to The Ivy at 9:30. We weren’t recording Laces Out until 10:30 so I killed some time at Panera. The cashier remembered me from my multiple Tuesday trips and greeted me, “Good morning Tom!” I ordered one hot coffee. Yesterday, I had to go around and wait at the pick-up area for the iced coffees I ordered, so I figured it was the same. I stood there for nearly 10 minute before finally saying, “I’m just waiting on a hot coffee.” They informed me that I just get a cup and pour the hot coffee myself from the coffee jugs that were clearly displayed. I felt so silly!

Speaking of silly, Willie, Dave, and I then recorded Laces Out on the RV. It smelt like piss so we had to make it quick. I don’t know what pigs are peeing in a clearly broken bathroom when there are plenty of bathrooms around us.

Got back to the greenroom and Big Cat, one of the birthday boys, was there. I gave him a hug and said “Happy birthday, Uncle Danny!” He said he turned 34 today, to which I replied “You don’t look a day over 33!” Raucous laughter echoed throughout the room.

After the Rundown, Dave sent me for a coffee. He said to make it a surprise whether it’d be hot or iced. He did the same thing yesterday, and I went with iced. We were inside all day anyway and iced gives him more energy. Today, I went with hot. It was colder out, and he was about to leave for a pizza review. Thought he should be warmed up for it. He agreed with both decisions. “Two for two Tommy,” I muttered to myself as I gave a subtle fist-pump.

Birthday boy Riggs then rolled in. “Happy birthday Bozoian!” I said with a handshake. I don’t have a “hug relationship” with Riggs like I do with The Cat. Riggs said he turned 32 today, to which I responded “You don’t look a day over 31!” More raucous laughter.

Former running back Rashad Jennings then rolled through to do a bunch of content. Radio, Answer the Internet, and Casting Couch were scheduled. But I got to spring my new series on him by surprise. It’s called “Two Minutes With Tommy” where I read celebrity guests my thoughts for two minutes. He either was playing along with the awkwardness of it, or he just really didn’t like me.

Back at The Ivy, the green room was feeling more like war room. We were all hard at work dominating the media headlines.

Well, I personally was less dominating the media and more writing this diary entry about the mundane details of my day. But whatever.

Off to Panera for another coffee run. I walked in and saw Kirk Minihane waiting at the back of the line. “Shit,” I thought. “Time for small talk.” I’m getting to know Kirk better, but I still was apprehensive of having to awkwardly converse for a few minutes. It went fine.

It was then time for Barstool Radio. I think Kirk and I bonded a little more today than yesterday. We’ll be friends real soon. After radio, I headed back to the green room as everyone prepared for Pup Punk. I ordered quesadillas for dinner. I like to obnoxiously pronounce the “L’s” in quesadilla to bother people. I didn’t think I needed to specify wanting sour cream, so I didn’t. Big mistake. Came without sour cream. Disaster-ville.

Pup Punk time. The boys absolutely killed it. Great covers and original hits. They also did a new Bieber cover, and I almost lost it.

Meanwhile, All Biz Pete, Spider, and I were tearing up the dance floor.

A lot of people are making fun of my dance moves, but I thought they were pretty hip.

After the show, some chose to party. Not me. It was back to writing this blog.

I then started walking around the room with my laptop and bumping into people saying, “Oh sorry. Don’t mind me blogging at this hour.” Would be a real shame if the higher-ups found out about that dedication.

Now we’re back at House 2. Before getting into bed, Logan told us that he saw two ants in his room this morning. I wanted to punch him square in the mouth. Don’t tell me that before bed. Now I’m going to be itchy all night feeling like I got my ants crawling on my thighs. Ugh.

As I was making some snacks, I was casually singing some Frank Sinatra around the house. Dana, Noah, and Logan were really impressed. I actually am a pretty good singer. Later, Fran and Liz arrived. Blabber mouth Dana told me to start singing for them. What a dickhead. I sing naturally as I’m doing household chores. I can’t sing in front of people under pressure. I’m not some dancing monkey. It didn’t go too well. Whatever.

Off to bed I go. Night night. Hopefully the literal bed bugs don’t bite. Til tomorrow.