Dear Diary: I Dressed Like A Gangster Rapper Today
Me being a cool gangster rapper. Some mean people are saying I look fat here. I have gained a little weight, but I think it’s just the angle. My arms are extended and thus widening my shirt. But it’s not like my body is filling up that entire shirt.
Tuesday
Dear Diary,
Today started off feeling a bit like Groundhog Day. Alarm again went off at 7:48 AM, and I again rolled out of bed at 8:04 AM. Just like yesterday, I was a bit cold in the shower but dealt with it. The part that really felt like Groundhog Day was when I realized the Uber on its way was the same driver I had yesterday. As you’ll remember from yesterday’s blog, he was a man in his mid-40’s from Rwanda, and we had a lovely 45 minute chat.
I’ve never had this happen to me before and was really shocked. This was coming off the heels of me writing in yesterday’s blog, “I really hate when Uber drivers try to set up future rides. I just want to meet you once and then be out of each other’s lives forever.” So hopefully Denis isn’t a Stoolie.
I got in the car and said, “Wow what are the odds?!” We both laughed, and he said, “Man, this doesn’t happen every day!” I thought it was going to be a nice moment, but he quickly shifted his tone. He said he saw the name and thought “Must be a different Tom.” But then when he pulled up and saw it was me, he said, “Shit. For real?” Kind of mean by Denis.
I was looking forward to listening to some tunes on the ride over (only one headphone in as a courtesy to the driver), but knew I couldn’t do it with Denis who proved on Monday to be a chatty Cathy. He talked a little bit more about what seems like his favorite topic – Amazon taking over the world. He then discussed how much money athletes and singers make, and how it’s crazy they make so much more than doctors. That’s when I chimed in with a “and the doctors are saving our lives!” as I gave a light-hearted chuckle.
One thing I picked up on through my two days with Denis is his use of the phrase “Come on now!” whenever I asked a dumb question or made a point he disagreed with. For example…
Me: “So is Uber your full-time job?”
Denis: “Come on now! No way I can make enough money just doing Uber!”
He dropped me off at House 1 and we shared an emotional goodbye, knowing it’s very unlikely that he’ll pick me up a third straight day. But hey, you never know!
Spider arrived at House 1 with some breakfast sandwiches, but had to go back out for a jug of coffee. I didn’t want to eat my sandwich until I could have a cup of joe with it. By the time I had the coffee, the sandwiches had gone a bit cold and I needed to reheat it. I had trouble working the microwave. There were so many reheat options – dinner plate, soup/salad, casserole, pizza. My sausage egg and cheese didn’t qualify as any of those things. I ultimately just chose dinner plate, but it must have been the wrong choice because it took forever and didn’t even work that well. Why must a microwave have so many reheat options? Are there different forms of heat that the microwave radiates? Seems excessive.
KFC, Gaz, Kayce, YP and I chopped it up for a bit in the living room. We were discussing Kayce’s relationship with Laura Rutledge after K-dawg had just posted another Instagram story of her. The conversation then shifted to Kayce and I’s rivalry/relationship. Ultimately, I decided that Kayce is like a little sister to me. She didn’t agree with it, so I will continue to push that narrative until it’s annoying.
Off to The Ivy to record the Rundown. I had to run across the street to Panera on a couple of coffee trips. It was a very dangerous and busy road. I decided to not walk down to the light and just jaywalk in the middle. I like to live life on the edge. At Panera, I ordered two iced coffees. I put the credit card in the key pad and it asked if I wanted to tip. I could feel the cashier peering over at me. I still opted to not tip. You don’t need to tip if it’s just coffee. You don’t tip at, say, Starbucks. Perhaps he judged me in the moment, but I think I made the right call.
Back to the greenroom, and there was major drama surrounding Dana B. An original Mickstape guy, he’s been hopping between podcasts like a little slutty slut slut. He’s even been offered a spot in the Team Portnoy training program. I’m a big supporter of Dana and would consider him a friend, so I’m hoping he gets a spot on the team one day. But he needs to stop whoring around.
Ian Rapoport stopped by to do radio, Answer The Internet and The Casting Couch.
I tried to get him to do a new series I’m working on (stay tuned), but it didn’t seem like he had time. I was rather disappointed.
We then had some nice, spicy drama with Dave yelling at the PR girl on the phone for emailing Clay Travis about having Dave on his show. You can watch that on today’s Stool Scenes. I do like conflict but seeing Dave that mad made me a little bit scared. I just naturally get frightened when I see people get so angry. It’s almost like I have PTSD from a childhood with an abusive and alcoholic father who would come home and yell at us. Except that’s not true at all and I actually have a normal, very nice father who doesn’t drink and we have a great relationship.
Anyway, it was then time for radio and I met Kirk Minihane for the first time just minutes before going on air with him. I typically don’t like meeting new people, and it takes me awhile to warm up to them. I explained to him that I’m an acquired taste. He might not like me and think I’m weird at first, but hopefully by week’s end he’ll like me and find me endearing.
After radio, we headed back to House 1 for dinner. We ordered in Greek food and Hibachi. My Hibachi steak portion was pretty small and mixed with mushrooms. I don’t like the taste nor smell of mushrooms so I picked them out. I had two soda pops with dinner so I’m probably going to be bouncing off the walls tonight.
We had an ensemble cast for the 100th episode of Stool Scenes. We took shots of New Amsterdam Vodka to celebrate. New Amsterdam is delicious and the best vodka around! But I do prefer mixed drinks because I’m what some would call — “a pussy.” Bullyin’ Kayce Smith made sure to capture the moment.
Afterwards, I tried on Rone’s hat again and looked even better than yesterday. I think it’s because of the cool and hip hoodie I had on. Hank said it made me look like a hardcore drug user. But hey, drugs are pretty fucking cool.
We then gathered around to watch Dave Portnoy Frannie Lydon on Tucker Carlson. He, of course, killed it.
That was a wrap for the night at House 1. Dana and I hopped in an Uber back to our house. The driver saw Dana’s camera equipment and asked what we were filming for. We said sports media. In retrospect, I wish we told him “adult films.” That would’ve been real funny. Been kicking myself all night.
Now off to bed I go. Big day tomorrow with Laces Out, radio, Pup Punk, and other stuff. Have a good Wednesday, Diary. Hugs and kisses.