A Woman Gets Stuck In Her $20 Million Apartment Elevator From Friday To Monday

Rich people – they’re just like us!

Firefighters in New York City rescued a woman on Monday morning who had been trapped in an elevator in a $20 million townhouse since Friday.

…The townhouse near Central Park is worth an estimated $20 million, according to Zillow. The house was “sold” in 2009 for $1. It previously sold in 1999 for $8 million. [BF NEWS]

I’ve been dishing out so many life lessons lately – this is exactly why I don’t get too down on myself during every family function, wedding, bar mitzvah etc. when everyone asks me what my job is again?  Oh right, the blog thing, explain what that is one more time?  Is that like a…..side job….or does it make money?

Because I am a leading figure in educating the youth of America.

You know how many 15-21 year olds read our site?  You probably think a lot, and you’re right.  I mentioned it in the failed bank robber blog last week – they’re all sitting there stressed out about if they are going to be successes or failures when they finally are forced out of the college fantasyland or drinking and sex and parties.  And I’m here to reassure them: it’s not always bad to be a failure.

Yes, being successful and making a ton of money is ideal.  You should work your ass off to try and not be poor.  It will help you afford things and have sex with people.

Just know that if you completely fail and end up a poor piece of shit, there is a bright side, glass-half full way to look at it.  Even if you make a ton of money, enough to buy a $20 million townhouse – you can still get stuck in an elevator pissing in the corner and pooping in your hands for 3 fucking 15 degree days.

Firefighters responded to the townhouse at 48 E. 65th St. on New York’s Upper East side after getting a call around 10:10 am that a person was stuck.

When firefighters arrived, they found the person stuck in an elevator between the second and third floor. They were able to “force the door structure” to gain access to the elevator and rescue the woman.

Now go on and climb up to your 5th floor walk up, grab the Makers because you couldn’t afford Whistlepig this month, and toast to this rich asshole stuck in her dumb townhouse elevator.

Update-

Different news article that does better reporting than Buzzfeed News is saying it was the cleaning lady.  Helloooo multi-million dollar lawsuit!