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Journalism Is Dying, Can A Land Invasion Of Venezuela Save It?

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The past 15 years have brought us the collapse of the U.S. auto industry, the death of American manufacturing, and the groundwork for a movement of automation that is poised to wipe out an entire class of low-wage workers. However, nothing has hit this country quite as hard as the firing of 15 Buzzfeed workers and lay-offs at 2-3 other digital media outlets.

While blue check marks from media Twitter have already taken to quote tweeting their friends asking other outlets to hire them, the rest of the country is still grappling with how to handle this monumental shift in the American labor market. As the media landscape became saturated with riveting think-pieces about how Donald Trump is an Epic Fart Waffle, the number of listicles to go around simply outnumbered the amount of 24-year-old Oberlin graduates living in Bushwick.

From 2003-2007, media and journalism thrived as talking heads and op-ed writers endlessly debated whether the Iraq War was the great moral imperative of the 21st century or simply an unfortunately necessary global expedition. The demand for war coverage has historically always outweighed that of any other political event, no matter how many 4 for 4 combos President Trump orders to the White House or which porn star he demands Eric and Don Jr. get him in touch with.

No country in the world is more primed for a dose of American interventionism right now than Venezuela. Venezuela (/?v?n??zwe?l?/ (About this soundlisten) VEN-?-ZWAYL-?; American Spanish: [bene?swela]), officially the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela (Spanish: República Bolivariana de Venezuela),[7][note 1] is a country on the northern coast of South America, consisting of a continental landmass and a large number of small islands and islets in the Caribbean Sea. The capital and largest urban agglomeration is the city of Caracas. It has a territorial extension of 916,445 km2 (353,841 sq mi). Their current President, Nicolas Maduro, has been accused of doing socialism and has thus been declared illegitimate by the editorial board of the National Review and Wikipedia.

Bipartisan support has emerged in the United States backing President of the National Assembly Juan Guaido. While thousands have taken to the streets to demand Maduro’s ouster, police and military have taken up arms to defend his government. If the United States were to get involved militarily in support of removing Maduro from power, it could quickly devolve into chaos in the United States, with the general public bewildered by the dozens of political factions in Venezuela and key government figures who have 3, 4, or even 5 names.

A conflict in Venezuela would quickly accelerate the demand for digital journalists to make sense of the situation, offering quizzes like “What Centre-Left Venezuelan Opposition Party Is Right For You” and sexy listicles such as “12 Reasons Why Henrique Capriles Is BAE.” Previously unemployable communications majors who studied abroad in Caracas would become internet celebrities overnight, offering penetrating insight on the situation based on what their host abuela said about Maduro five years ago.

There is no industry in more desperate need of a lifeblood injection than digital journalism. And after going 0-1-1 in their last two conflicts, the American foreign policy establishment needs a quick and easy win to pad their stats. If America wants to get Newhouse grads back to work and breathe some life into the modern neoconservative movement, we would be wise to find Venezuela on a map and get to work.