Mark Zuckerberg Slaughtered A Goat With a Fucking ‘Laser Gun’ and a Knife And Fed It To Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey

What was your most memorable encounter with Zuckerberg?
Well, there was a year when he was only eating what he was killing. He made goat for me for dinner. He killed the goat.

In front of you?
No. He killed it before. I guess he kills it. He kills it with a laser gun and then the knife. Then they send it to the butcher.

A?.?.?.?laser gun?
I don’t know. A stun gun. They stun it, and then he knifed it. Then they send it to a butcher. Evidently in Palo Alto there’s a rule or regulation that you can have six livestock on any lot of land, so he had six goats at the time. I go, “We’re eating the goat you killed?” He said, “Yeah.” I said, “Have you eaten goat before?” He’s like, “Yeah, I love it.” I’m like, “What else are we having?” “Salad.” I said, “Where is the goat?” “It’s in the oven.” Then we waited for about 30 minutes. He’s like, “I think it’s done now.” We go in the dining room. He puts the goat down. It was cold. That was memorable. I don’t know if it went back in the oven. I just ate my salad.

It’s hard to find a metaphor in that.
I don’t know what you’re going to do with that, but hopefully that’s not the headline. Revenge is a dish best served warm. Or cold.

Fellas, you know me. I love eating a little BBQ with the boys but good god in heaven. We are killing goats with freakin laser beams now? I mean, I’d give it a try because I know that goat meat is much more sustainable for the earth than beef and I love the fuck out of earth but I’m gonna feel uneasy about this whole thing. I’ll do it but I’m gonna feel uneasy.

Anyway, Mark Zuckerberg is a crazy person I think but at least he loves his meat. Not his dick. Actual protein.