These AFC Title Game Mic'd Up Videos are Pure Patriots Porn

NFL Films has released their Sound FX of the AFC championship game. This time with Devin McCourty and usual suspect Julian Edelman wearing the mics. And while it’s exactly the kind of cinematic art we’ve come to expect from NFL Films, for now it is also the sole property of the league and Showtime. Thank God for inventing the internet and birthing bold men who wave their private parts at your copyright laws.

So grab a full box of tissues. Here are the highlights, in order of my favorites:

Edelman is Tom Brady’s Fluffer:

This is going to go a mile up the ass of everyone who says the Patriots have no right to play the Disrespect Card.

Devin McCourty Welcomes Jason to the Super Bowl:

Think about it. These two came out of the same birth canal on the same day. One has started four Super Bowls. The other has only seen them from the stands. Hate the Pats all you want but you have to concede that’s a genuinely special moment.

Manlove:

Somehow this relationship was strong and pure enough to survive a disagreement over where rubdowns were allowed to take place.

Edelman’s Pre-Drive Pep Talk:

Echo’s of his legendary “Gonna be a hell of a story!” mantra from Super Bowl LI. Plus incredible camera work on Brady’s touchdown throw, though it doesn’t do justice to Philip Dorsett’s catch or capture how he was an assault victim while the ball was in the air.

The Patriots O-line Chain Fist Bump:

What are we calling this? Is it Assembly Line? Bucket Brigade? Hot Potato? Tag? Whatever it’s called, I need it to be their thing.

Edelman Pleads His Case:

Another call back to the Falcons game, when Minitron immediately got up after his catch and said he had it. He was right both times.

McCourty’s Banter with Tyreek Hill:

One catch, 432 yards. For a guy who’s averaged 7 catches and 138 yards against New England. McCourty has a point.

Dee Ford Didn’t Know Where He Lined Up:

People in 44 states are insisting the official should’ve told him before the snap, because it would’ve been the nice thing to do.

The Money Shot:

Fricking Zolak. I only saved this one until the end because it’s the one you finish on.

Of course, leave it to Kraft Productions to put out a bonus Patriots Porn that’s better than all of these. Once your refractory period is over, enjoy.

P.S. As great at these Mic’d Up clips are for us, I can’t imagine how hard they must be on poor Michael Wilbon. Thoughts and prayers.