I'm Not Sure Who's To Blame After Halftime Performance Falls Flat

Last night the Pacers were embarrassed on a national stage against the Philadelphia 76’ers. Unfortunately, the crowd could not have been less invested in the halftime show. The Pacers piss poor shooting performance was most likely the biggest factor, but I don’t think the Indy crowd knew how big the swinging bouncing dicks are on The Skyriders.

Kenny Kovach, the first performer, has held onto the record for most revolutions with a Hula Hoop around his body while somersaulting for the last 20 years. Not only did Kenny set the Guinness World Record in 1998, but he also broke his own record in 1999 and 2011. The Kenny Dynasty has dominated multiple decades like he’s the New England Patriots of bouncing. Then just for fun he set a world record for highest bounces on a trampoline off his stomach. Why not?

I’m always curious where the dream starts for halftime entertainers. I like to think these three guys started off putting in countless jump hours on a trampoline in their backyard; while the neighbors would watch them out their windows in disgust that these grown men haven’t found a more productive way to spend their time.

When the crowd isn’t in it – it’s luck luster performances like this that make you question if your heart is still in it, and all the jump hours you’ve put in.  I feel for the Skyriders. I’ve had plenty of stand-up sets where the crowd wasn’t in it, and you just feel like you can’t get anything going.

Two of the saddest things I’ve seen in a halftime show are … 

#1. When the hilariously stereotypical stadium announcer has to say, “keep cheering him on” in the middle of the guy doing N-64 1080 Snowboarding spins through the air with the indifferent crowd looking on with blank faces.

#2. Being your own roadie and having to pack up your props while the cleaning crew has to go around you.

An aspect of danger is involved, which helps the grade, but an often overlooked factor for grading is music selection. Playing U2 is a major point deduction. I refuse to forget how U2 hijacked our iTunes accounts, and added an entire album no one would have listened to otherwise. America has been outraged by some pretty ridiculous things in the internet era, but it seems like we took it easy on U2 taking our nations terror threat to code red. U2 should be on a cyber security threat list until the end of time.

I’m giving the Skyriders a 5.2*/10 with an asterisks because I’d like to see multiple world record holder Kenny Kovach perform again in front of a different crowd that hasn’t been demoralized by their teams dismal shooting performance.

Yesterday was a big win for the halftime show blog after getting some recognition from living halftime legend Steve Max.