The Motorola Razr Is Coming Back This Year (For $1,500) And This Is A Very Dangerous Game Humanity Is Playing
Source – The Motorola Razr — yes, that Razr — is apparently making a comeback in 2019 and will be released exclusively on Verizon as soon as this February.
According to a report from The Wall Street Journal, the new Razr is being made by Lenovo and will feature a foldable screen. That “folding screen” could mean it’ll have a flip-phone design of its predecessors or go with something a bit more high-tech with a display that actually folds…
…There’s a lot that’s still up in the air, but even so, it’s hard to not get excited at the idea of a new Razr phone being released in 2019.
One thing that does seem fairly certain is the price. WSJ notes that the Razr phone will cost a whopping $1,500 and that Lenovo is planning to manufacture 200,000 units. Add that together with it being exclusive to Verizon Wireless, and it seems pretty evident that the phone will probably be marketed as a limited edition collector type of gadget.
I feel that as one of the very few people in the world who never had a Motorola Razr, I’m able to view this news with a little more clarity than the majority. Because obviously most of the world is going to be hype about the Razr coming back as it was one of the more iconic phones in the flip-phone era. Hell, it was probably the most iconic phone of that generation. But while everybody is cumming their pants in nostalgia over the Razr coming back, I’m over here being able to realize that this is actually a massive threat to humanity. And here’s why–
The fact that there will only be 200,000 new Razr phones made and that they’ll cost $1,500 each leads me to believe that the new Motorola Razr will be used as a symbol for the elite. It will become a weapon of the wealthy. The same way the comment section now makes fun of those who can’t comment for being too poor to afford Barstool Gold, people with the new Motorola Razr will make fun of those without for being too poor to afford one. Which is fine and everything but eventually the poors will have enough, and there will be a huge spike in the demand for a flip-phone resurgence. So all of a sudden, all these other mobile companies will start releasing their old flip-phones as well. And now everybody in the world is using a flip-phone again.
But what happens when everybody else is using a flip-phone? Well that doesn’t make the elite seem so elite anymore. So now they need to demonstrate their wealth and status with a different product. So they go back to the original Nokia 3310 and they only make 150,000 of them and sell them for $3000 each.
But then the poor people want that, too. So other companies start to make more of them and make them cheaper. So then the elite need to go further down the timeline and they bring back these bricks. There are only 50,000 oof them and they cost $12,000.
But then the poors get ahold of those as well. So what do the elite go to next? They go all the way back to Bell’s original telephone.
Then to the telegraph. Then to carrier pigeons.
All of a sudden, the year is 2025 and nobody in the world has a smartphone anymore. And most of us aren’t smart enough on our own to live without our smartphones. We’re basically back in the middle ages and nobody knows how to get anywhere, nobody knows how to find any answers, nobody knows anything. Because all of our knowledge was stored in our phones, but we got rid of those phones all because a few people wanted to bring back the Motorola Razr.
Are you happy, people? Are you happy? Because as much as you may have loved having a Motorola Razr in 2005, it sure as shit isn’t worth ending the world over in 2025. Just saying.