Eagles Fans are Going All Soft on Us and It's Sad
I mentioned last week when Shawne Merriman was trying to troll Pats fans and sell off his warehouse filled with ancient relic “Lights Out” t-shirts nobody wants how sad it is when a once-mighty enemy turns into an object of pity. It’s good for the soul to have a hated but respected rival you can measure yourself against. And when they fall apart and are no longer a threat, it’s not something to be celebrated. It’s to be mourned.
Say what you will about whether or not Russia meddled in our election. But if they did, at least it’s a good villain move. It’s spycraft. Something out of Sean Connery-era 007, Hunt for Red October or Rocky & Bullwinkle. Something that would make them a threat you can push back against. As opposed to a corrupt authoritarian kleptocracy whose only exports are vodka and barely legal brides for socially hopeless American rich guys.
Which brings us to Eagles fans. Alshon Jeffery, who’s on record as saying “Hands down I think I have the best hands in the league” does this:
…with the season on the line. On a perfect ball from a quarterback who was about produce another comeback like he had the cheat codes to God Powers in playoff football.
And while Jeffery did everything asked of him in terms of owning up to it and taking responsibility, this is the reaction he gets from Eagles fans?
“We love you, 17″
“Nothing but respect”
“All the love in the world”
“We ain’t even mad!”
“Win as a team. Lose as a team”
“You did great Alshon. No need to apologize”
“You did all you could do”
And about a million “#FlyEaglesFly”s.
Really? I mean, sure on a certain level, I respect a fan base supporting their own. But Philly fans? Since when is this them?
Do I need to remind the whole region who they are? What their legacy is? These are the people who booed Mike Schmidt, the best power hitting 3rd basemen of his era and who won like 25 Gold Gloves. Who routinely wanted Donovan McNabb run out of town, the winningest quarterback they’d ever had. Philly used to take pride in shitting all over their own. They were feral maniacs who descended upon Jacksonville for Super Bowl XXXIX like a horde of Uruk-Hai, making life miserable for the locals and Pats fans alike. And all it takes to make them turn into a collection of Tee Ball coaches is one Super Bowl win?
They went soft overnight. A little success and they’ve turned all positive. Nurturing. Supportive. Upbeat. It’s that “Flowers for Charlie” episode of It’s Always Sunny where they gave Charlie the placebo “Smart Pills” and he started reading books with a glass of wine at lunch and thought he could speak Mandarin. I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed. This isn’t the Eagles fanbase I knew and loved, even as they were making my life miserable all year. The Philly fans I used to respect would’ve made a guy’s life a waking nightmare for a mistake like this, right or wrong.
Now I don’t even recognize them. As the Gospel of Matthew puts it, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Sad.