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Do People Know That Cristiano Ronaldo Has The Weirdest Family Dynamic On Earth?

CR7 family tree

(source)–Fatherhood has become an integral part of the life of Ronaldo, who is in an unofficial rivalry with Barcelona’s Lionel Messi for the title of best player in the world. Like any proud papa, Ronaldo’s Instagram is full of snaps of him with his brood, which includes Alana, as well as his 8-year-old son, Cristiano Jr., and 1-year-old twins, Eva Maria and Mateo.

“Becoming a parent and raising my family is honestly the greatest privilege I’ve had. I’m enjoying every second of it,” Ronaldo told Hello. “It’s taught me things about love I never knew existed. It has softened me and given me new perspective on what is really important in my life.”

However, his methods for having children have been rather unconventional. The twins were carried by a surrogate, while his eldest’s maternity is a mystery. Untangling his baby-mama web has become an international sport in itself.

In July 2010, Ronaldo shocked the world when he announced he had become a father to Cristiano Jr. At the time, he was dating model Irina Shayk — who was not the mother. (Shayk and Ronaldo split in 2015.) One report suggested he had impregnated a woman during a one-night stand and paid millions of dollars to have full custody of his child.

Are people aware of this? I know it’s 2019 and there’s no “right” way to have a family, but arguably the most famous athlete on planet Earth having a whole mess of kids via surrogate is bizzare. Imagine if this was Brady or Lebron. It’d be among the first things people think about when their names were brought up. Your grandma would know if Tom Brady had kids born by surrogate. This came up at a dinner last night and the whole table just stopped because nobody had heard it before. Everyone around the table did the blinking guy face gif simultaneously.

Rinaldo is regarded as one of the sexiest men on the planet. He dated the Iron Shayk in her prime

iron shayk

He’s known to have orgies with hookers…allegedly. He’s one of the sexiest men on the planet. Six pack abs, no hair out of place. He’s literally a golden god

ronaldo statue

And yet…he felt the need to have children through unconventional means. And the more I think about it…I think he might be a genius. Having children is the most primal and least economical things people can do. Kids sound good, but only for about like 30% of the time. Ronaldo discovered a cheat code. No child support, no divorces, no alimony, no messy custody battles. You just buy some premium eggs, inject them with your seed, and 9 months later you have your genetics passed on to the next generation without any of the headaches associated with having your kid having a mother. Hire a nanny to actually raise that kid and you’re back to living your lifestyle of the richest and most famous soccer player in the world. Crashing lambos, having hooker parties(?), mountains of blow(?), and if your first couple of kids stink…go back to craigslist and offer up 50k for a rental uterus. Pretty good plan, Ronaldo.