Shawne Merriman is Trolling Patriots Fans and it's Just Sad

There’s only one thing worse than seeing one of your most hated villains succeed. And it’s watching one of your most hated villains fail to the point they become pathetic. That is obviously the fate that has befallen the once great Shawne Merriman.

Remember when he was the Prince of Darkness? When he came into the NFL all full of ego and swagger? Winning Defensive Rookie of the Year. Inventing The Lights Out dance, then marketing the unholy bejeebers out of it.

Racking up 39.5 sacks in his first three years. Then he got popped for PEDs. But still, he finished third in Defensive POTY voting behind Ed Reed and Jason Taylor. And when Taylor said he shouldn’t be eligible, Merriman sent him a Lights Out shirt and a box of popcorn so Taylor could watch him in the playoffs. He was the perfect mid-2000s villain.

But, post-steroids Merriman fell into obscurity, almost instantly. Over a 5-year stretch he averaged 3.8 games per season. He got charged after a physical altercation with his girlfriend, sex robot Tila Tequila, though later the charges were dismissed. And he went from a guy you loved to hate to a guy you hated for becoming so pathetic.

And now he’s reduced to … to this? Still trying to sell off his inventory of t-shirts nobody has cared about since they were collecting Beyblades? Trying to troll Patriots fans at a time where half of New England isn’t old enough to remember who Shawne Merriman is? And worst of all, talking about Sunday’s playoff like it’s a revenge game for the Chargers after the Patriots did his Lights Out dance on the field after a playoff win … 12 years ago?

I don’t want to give Merriman a history lesson, but he leaves me with no choice. The Chargers were super upset that the Patriots would dare to “disrespect” them by doing a dance that one of their teammates invented to disrespect other teams. Ladainian Tomlinson in particular thought it showed “no class.” And thought that lack of class comes from Bill Belichick. While reminding us that he himself is “a very classy person,” which is something the truly very classy point out all the time:

And yet, a year later, San Diego had their revenge game. At Foxboro in the 2007 AFC championship game. Retribution was there for the taking. The Pats came into the game 17-0, and Merriman, Tomlinson and the rest of the Chargers had the golden opportunity to end their quest for a perfect season.

And they almost did. Phillip Rivers played with a torn ACL and gutted it out for a 19-for-37, 211 yard, 0 TD, 2 INT game. Whereas the other Chargers franchise players, hellbent on vengeance and out for blood, produced these lines:

Merriman: 3 solo tackles, 1 assist, 4 total
Tomlinson: 2 carries, 5 yards, 1 reception for 1 yard

Tomlinson was nursing a sore MCL. And, despite watching his quarterback nutting up and keeping his team in the game, he shut it down at that point. He took the bench with a poncho on his head, hid behind his Darth Vader facemask and watched the rest of the game sitting there like a hungover hockey dad watching a Pee Wee skate around at 6 a.m.

So now we’re supposed to think that all these years later, this is the real revenge game. Like I said, a once great villain is been reduced to making me just feel sorry for him. It’s like finding out the Joker is working the Gotham version of Times Square, posing for photos with tourists for dollar bills. It’s finding Voldemort using his wizard powers to do magic tricks at a kid’s birthday party. I could forgive Merriman for being a cocky asshole back in the day. But making me feel sympathy for him? That I can not forgive.