Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Episode 38Watch Now
Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

This 6-Year-Old Boxer From Ghana Can Beat The Shit Out Of Me And You

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Getting older sucks for a lot of reasons. Everything hurts, your fake life from birth to those few magical years after college is long gone, hangovers last forever, and the only light at the end of the tunnel is retirement if you survive that long and don’t fuck up your finances once the real world grinds you up and spits you out. But once you see people much younger than you being significantly better than you at stuff, that’s when the final nail goes into the coffin. It doesn’t matter if it’s kids playing sports, successfully running their own businesses, or becoming rich as fuck.

However, the one thing adults have had over kids since the dawn of time is physical strength. Sometimes I’ll (lovingly) chokeslam my kids onto the bed just to let them know that I could crush their souls if they don’t listen to me. But I know that kid would kick my ass and your ass as well. Sure he would lose the Tale of the Tape for height, weight, and reach. But he hits like a baby Mike Tyson, has footwork for days, and can run around for hours before he even thinks about getting tired like every other kid his age. Finding out you could get your ass kicked by a first grader is a rough way to start your day. On the bright side, maybe I could sponsor this kid to come to America and fight in Rough N Rowdy. I’m not sure which states would allow a 6-year-old to fight in the squared circle, but I’m pretty sure you can enter a newborn into a fight in West Virginia and if nobody wants to fight it, they will just have it fight a possum in the same weight class. I haven’t challenged any of my fellow bloggers to Rough N Rowdy matches because I would never want to put in the effort it would take to get remotely in shape. But I may start throwing challenges around as long this kid agrees to be my Trial By Combat replacement.