The 2016 "Sonic Attack" Against The U.S. Embassy In Cuba? Turns Out, It Was Horny Crickets
NY Times- In November 2016, American diplomats in Cuba complained of persistent, high-pitched sounds followed by a range of symptoms, including headaches, nausea and hearing loss.
Exams of nearly two dozen of them eventually revealed signs of concussions or other brain injuries, and speculation about the cause turned to weapons that blast sound or microwaves. Amid an international uproar, a recording of the sinister droning was widely circulated in the news media.
On Friday, two scientists presented evidence that those sounds were not so mysterious after all. They were made by crickets, the researchers concluded.
Male singing insects produce regular patterns during courtship. Females are attracted to certain males based on their songs, which has led to the evolution of different songs in different species.
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Growing up in Maine, the chirping and hooting of crickets at dusk was the most mellifluous instrument of all the summer evening nature orchestra. We had a wet property, which was ideal for mosquito and cricket breeding. Once the screens went up on our windows, I would lay awake at night,* listening to the crickets calling out for their mates to come get that nut. That may seem crude, but here’s the science behind cricket mating:
Female crickets can hear the males chirp through their front legs (that’s where their ears are located) and they respond to the sound that is most appealing to them. If a female is attracted to a particular cricket’s song, she will turn to face the direction of the sound. This works out well if the male is nearby enough to see her response.
At this point, the male releases a small white sperm packet, the female climbs on top of him and receives the sperm packet. She climbs off of him and the sperm continues to pump into her for about 30 minutes. Now, here’s where it gets interesting. The female can continue to mate with other male crickets and all of their sperm will stay inside her. According to recent studies (2), she can actually choose which male’s sperm she will use to fertilize her eggs with! This is a natural way of preventing inbreeding and choosing the best qualified father of her offspring. (Cricket-breeding.com)
What a progressive species. The women have so much power. So much! What an episode of Maury that would make…
Deadbeat cricket: “She took my sperm packet, but I don’t know what she did after that.”
Maury: “Let’s bring her out!”
Female cricket enters in a shimmering, low-cut dress that accentuates her long thorax. Crowd cheers.
Crickette: “Bitch I took your packet, then five more packets that same night.”
Crowd ooooohs and ahhhhhs. Someone yells “ohhhh shit!”
Maury: “Let’s bring out the other five candidates!”
Five more crickets come out, their heads bowed, knowing they have no power, knowing they should have been more judicious with their sperm packets.
Maury: “The results are in…”
You’d think our embassy in Cuba would be able to differentiate between cricket chirping and an attack you’d expect from the League of Shadows. But good to know we’ve got our intelligence technology up to date down there. It’s not like Cuba has been an important intelligence outpost for us, historically. Ha! Try telling the cast of X-Men: First Class that. Charles would still be walking if not for that fucking country.