GQ Says Bootcut Jeans Are Back, And The Photo They Used To Prove It Will Take Your Breath Away

GQ- But nostalgia works in cycles, so it was only a matter of time until the boot cut made a comeback. Which it did recently when Balenciaga designer Demna Gvasalia decided to include the style in the brand’s spring lookbook.

What in the name of God is going on here? Is that dude for real? I’m not even talking about the pants (we’ll get to those). I’m far more concerned with his face, and the thoughts that are going through his mind.  What a terrible, haunting look he’s got. You know when you’re standing in front of your bathroom mirror, casually brushing your teeth, and you open the mirror to get something out of your medicine cabinet? Temporarily, you lose sight of yourself as the mirror swings away. Sometimes, as I swing the mirror back, I’m terrified that I’ll see a person behind me. That happens in horror movies all the time.

This is the face. This is the man I expect to see. I’d never seen this dude before today and yet I had pictured him dozens of times over my shoulder in the mirror’s reflection. He wasn’t there when I opened the mirror, but then he swished up behind me in his boot cut jeans, pulled a yard of chicken wire out of his sock, and in just a second, he’ll slip it over my neck and lower me to the ground, shushing me down. And once I’m dead, that’s when his fun really starts.

As for the “return” of boot cut jeans? Maybe. But not like this. Not so flared. I’ll embrace the return of a wider leg if it sits like this:

Keep it wider all the way down, and don’t bury the boots under a goddamn teepee at the ankle. By contrast:

These hourglass-looking pantaloons may render a perfect Cranston on even the doughiest-thighed forklift operators, but they look preposterous.