Now We Have Giant Rats Chasing Subway Station Agents Out Of Their Booths

I hate to do this as a member of the human species, but the rats have officially won the war of the subway. Bend the knee and pay homage to the new overlords of New York’s world famous pit of despair. Because once the crazy motherfuckers that willingly chose to work amongst the squalor of that lies below New York City are running away from rats, you know shit is a wrap. Don’t get me wrong, if I see a mouse in the house, I turn into the biggest shrieking bitch you will ever see in your life and will not sleep until that miniscule creature is caught. But even I have reached a point where I don’t bat an eyelash if there is an orgy of rats fucking on the third rail during rush hour.

Which is why I have to ask why this fine young woman took the job to begin with. A subway booth worker being scared of a rat is like a Barstool blogger being scared of a Stool Scenes camera. You knew the occupational hazards when you signed up for when you took the job, no matter how terrifying they are. I’m not asking her to do the dirty work that the cheap pesticides the MTA buys and choke the rat out herself. But you gotta defend that booth from any four-legged intruders that may enter, no matter how many plagues are pumping through their bloodstream.