Guy Steals Student's Laptop, Then Offers to Email Back All His Schoolwork
Source – When one of your valuable belongings is stolen, it’s understandable to feel totally furious at the thief. …
Bizarrely, Steve Valentine from Birmingham revealed how his flatmate received an email from the thief who nicked his laptop – with an explanation.
The email subject reads: “I’m sorry about your laptop” and goes on to make an unusual offer.
“I am extremely poor and needed the money. I left your phone and wallet, so I hope that slightly makes up for something. …
“I can see you are a university student. If there is any files on here such as university work on here that you need, let me know and I will send them to you here. Once again I am sorry.”
What kind of a half-assed thief is this guy? He steals a laptop, the second most important thing to a college kid next to his phone, and then expects … what? Gratitude? Praise for being such a great guy? Sympathy, because he’s poor?
Newsflash, Swiper: You know who else is really poor? Your average college kid. There is never a time in your life when you invest more hours of work and earn less money than your college years. So you can quit congratulating yourself for your generous magnanimity. You’re not Jean Valjean from Les Miserables, doing time for stealing bread to feed your starving niece. You’re not the thief who was nailed up next to Jesus. “Only” stealing his computer and not everything he owns doesn’t make you Robin Hood. It just makes you a shitty thief.
Hopefully this student doesn’t give in. Hopefully he’s one of those rare people among us who backs up his work or has it all in the cloud or whatever and therefore is at liberty to tell this petty criminal he can slam that laptop down on his dick because we don’t negotiate with terrorists. I’d rather have the guy who robbed me taunt me like a supervillain for the way he outwitted me than pretend to be nice about it and offer to help. Hopefully this sticky-fingered little creep didn’t get his hands on the power cord because those things are expensive as hell and within a few hours he’ll come crawling back with a dead, useless laptop.
Regardless, let’s all try to either stop stealing other people’s stuff altogether or simply steal better. Go all in. Be the best thief you can be. Laptop robbery is no time for half measures.
