Smokebro Of The Day: Chris Baumann Of USA Rugby

It’s been the kind of horrible, windy, rainy day in NYC that chills you to the bone & makes you feel like you’ll never see the sun again. In desperate need of a pick-me-up I went down a rabbit hole of rugby posts (the sport gets my heart goin’) & stumbled upon a mullet man more than worthy of Smokebro Of The Day.

Laydees & gents, meet Chris Baumann:

STATS THAT I CREEPILY FOUND ONLINE & FELT WEIRD ABOUT LOOKING UP:

AGE: 31

HOMETOWN: Steamboat Springs, CO

COLLEGE: University of Wyoming

HEIGHT: 6ft2

WEIGHT: 273 lbs

EYES: Shaded by beautiful, thick Eugene Levy-esque eyebrows

NECK: Shaded by a beautiful, thick mullet curtain

SPORT: Rugby

POSITION: Prop, (and wishful thinking but… the Alabama Reverse Hot Pocket, perhaps?)

CURRENT HOME: This RV I think???!?

SPIRIT ANIMAL: Kenny Powers

Fearless:

Apparently he’s since cut the mullet which is a shame, but here’s a glorious throwback:

That grizzly fur’ll keep you toasty in any weather:

Get yourself a man who can score a try & look super fly in a suit & tie:

From the USA Rugby site:

Baumann has played all across the country for numerous clubs in the United States. In the summer of 2015, Baumann was selected to represent the USA Selects on a tour of South America where he won over coaching staff and earned an opportunity with the Men’s Eagles.

Earning his first cap in Toronto against Tonga in the 2015 Pacific Nations Cup, his hard work continued to pay off with a second selection to the 2015 Rugby World Cup. There, Baumann played three matches and scored his first international try against Samoa. Since that time, he’s played for the USA in the 2016 Americas Rugby Championship (ARC) at the senior level, Summer international test matches and even the Fall tour.

With several caps under his belt, Baumann continues to be a consistent presence with the Men’s National Team.

Good sir, I’ll be your hooker (it’s a position)(you can tell this is a good joke because I had to explain it) any day.