It's A Thanksgiving Miracle! The FDA Says Do Not Eat Romaine Lettuce, Or If Possible Any Type Of Lettuce, Due To An E. Coli Outbreak

NBC- Health officials in the U.S. and Canada told people on Tuesday to stop eating romaine lettuce because of a new E. coli outbreak. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said it is working with officials in Canada on the outbreak, which has sickened 32 people in 11 states and 18 people in the Canadian provinces of Ontario and Quebec.

FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb said the agency doesn’t have enough information to ask suppliers for a recall, but he suggested that supermarkets and restaurants should withdraw romaine until the source of the contamination can be identified. People are also being advised to throw out any romaine they have at home. The contaminated lettuce is likely still on the market, Gottlieb told The Associated Press in a phone interview.

Do you believe in miracles? YES!!! Lettuce getting knocked off the menu the day before the Super Bowl of Food is probably the best thing to ever happen to families before that glorious holiday. Kids don’t have to fill up valuable real estate on their plate or stomachs with the green stuff and parents don’t have to fight them to eat it. Everyone can just binge on turkey and carbs during the best American holiday on the planet.

Now to be honest, I didn’t know people even served salad on Thanksgiving. Granted I look exactly like someone that never ate a leaf before, during, or after Thanksgiving. However the map Chaps blogged earlier this week said that it’s apparently a huuuuuge thing in the land of Lewis & Clark.

Hey California, tell me how my ass tastes! Not like E. Coli because I don’t fuck with lettuce on the holiest day in a fat man’s year. And I definitely don’t ask where my lettuce came from ever because if you do that, you deserve to get slapped directly in the face by whoever just slaved away over a hot stove for 8+ hours so you could fill up on romaine. I guess getting mad at what a bunch of hippie assholes serve their hippie kids is kind of a stupid thing to get riled up about. But as someone that considered anything green the enemy for years, this one just felt like a win.

NOW HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!