Hidden Valley Ranch Is Releasing "Magnum" Bottles For The Holidays

Oh fuck yes. As a wholesome midwestern girl, there’s very little I love the way I love ranch dressing. It’s not appreciated enough in the wasteland of the East coast where I am currently located, and that’s been tough. But Hidden Valley Ranch doesn’t care that snobs in Massachusetts don’t eat it, because they know that gals like me from Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri, etc. will buy gigantic gallon bottles of ranch dressing and put it on everything. I put ranch on pizza, fries, grilled cheese, vegetables, I would try on almost anything if you told me it was good. So if you’re looking for a perfect Hanukkah present for me, feel free to send one of these bad boys to Barstool Sports headquarters. Happy holidays!